Leighton's Ramblings

2011-10-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

I did not want to had to write this blog, but God sometimes changes the direction we are going. September 19, 2011 3:06 PM He changes the course of my life. Leighton went home to be with the Lord and now he is well again probably running a new race everyday. Oh how I loved that man and oh how I miss him, but I know I will see him again someday. Each of you that have followed his ramblings know that he was a fighter and loved life. Because he was a kind person he left his mark on hundreds of lives. Our chapel was filled to standing room only on the morning of his memorial service. What a tribute to a life well lived.

I want to thank each of you for all your prayers and words of encouragement over these past months. You kept him believing that he would beat this terrible "C".

We went to New Mexico for the month of August. What a wonderful time we had. We saw old friends - held our wine glasses to the sunset - even saw a few (every few) sunrises - celebrated birthdays - played with our grandchildren - had the usual Labor Day party and it did not rain. On September 10 we danced the night away at a Chamber Gala. He kept saying just one more dance. What a gift of love he gave me that six weeks. I look at it as my birthday gift of a life time. So many people never have the joy that God gave us in that six weeks.

In trying to sum up Leighton's life, I would have to use one of his mothers favorite expressions: "You done good"!

I love you honey, Lynda

2011-09-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

Well, will wonders never cease? Here I am on my way to the hospital to get my feeding tube back. Why? Because I'm getting ready to get some more chemo. Why? Because I've got some "hot spots" the doc wants to eliminate and he knows that, in the past, chemo has "striped" a little weight off me.
Back to the "wonders never cease." Seems that I saw the doc back in July and I was down to 120 --- and that's skinny on me --- and he told me then about gaining weight and why. So, off we (Lynda and I) set to try to do that very thing. Try as I might it wouldn't happen. When I would eat "too much" my gut would crap and I would down for 3 or 4 hours, but we kept trying. Eating peanut butter at 10 and 2. Eating as often as possible. Nothing worked. 120 every day and sometimes a pound below. Baw Humbug! Today, I took my shower, with anteseptic soap as prescribed, and I weighed. 122! Hey, can we put this off for a week or so? Guess not but it sure crossed my mind.
Earlier today I was a bit nervous about this procedure but a visit with the Lord assured me, again, that He was in control and I didn't have a thing to worry about.
Keep me and all my cancer pals in your prayers. Will let you know how this day turns out.

2011-08-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Well, since I'm dropped about 5 pounds looks like I'll be getting my tube back next month! About 3 weeks ago I went to 120 and have not varied from that. Am still eating "better" but obviously not enough to gain any weight. Now I'm (kinda) looking forward to the tube. Tire of feeling tired. My voice is doing well but it's more husky sometimes but I'm just glad I can talk where someone can understand me. It's hard for me to believe how wonderful it is that the Lord gives the stamina to encounter these challenges. When I think I can't go I just do, and live to tell about it. Keep all my cancer buddies in your prayers --- and especially Lynda. She just keeps on keeping my spirits up when I even think about "getting down."

2011-08-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

Are things happening to me only once a month? In my dreams that might be happening but in reality it's a daily occurrence and I haven't been reporting in a "timely fashion." Will I do better in the future? Only the Lord can answer that question.
In the last 30 days I've had a PET scan. Results: "Somewhat increased activity in a few lymph nodes." That wasn't what I wanted to hear but the facts are the facts and the sooner you find out the sooner you can address them! Next phase: Chemo starts mid September. Why wait so long? Doc is giving me the chance to gain some weight (I'm cruising along at 125) or I've got to get the tube back in my gut, in order to get nourishment.
I am eating more this week than I did last week but I had about three weeks where I was "weak and heavy laden." The best way I could describe how I felt was this way. If you have a Kindle or Laptop and you don't keep them connected to electricity they come back and tell you, "Your battery has only 20% remaining and I'm shutting down now." So, I sit or lay down, no choice!
I guess really I do have a choice but if I do when I get down to 10% it really takes a lot to "recharge" me.
But, today, that ain't happening and I'm rejoicing. Lynda and I are in the mountains of New Mexico, and it's cool. The Lord be willing, I will gain another 10 pounds before we go home the 7th of September, but if I don't I'll welcome that feeding tube back. Still have three granddaughters to see get married (and one grandson) and that's quite a few days off! Or, if they chose not, see what kind of life they choose and/what the Lord has in store for them! Besides that, Lynda would kill me if I died.
Cancer buddies of mine for you to pray for: Gary C, Jimmy D, Eric A, Jim W, Dan S (a new entry as of last week) and Bob M (another new guy to the club). That's all for today.

2011-07-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

So, is there a valid reason for my not updating my Blog in almost a month? No! It just seems that I've reached a "plateau" in my healing process. About a month ago my gut, (not my stomach, which is behind my breast bone now), starting cramping ever time I ate. And the only way I could get "away" from the feeling was to sit down and go to sleep for an hour. Obviously I didn't look forward to eating so consequently I didn't eat right and lost some weight. Not good for someone has to struggle to gain a pound. Went to the doc that does scopes from the top down and he didn't find any problems that jumped out at him, but he gave me a pill that helps my gut (colon, stomach) move the food on down thru it's channel. However, it seems that sometimes after I eat a "sense of tiredness" seems to sweep over me and again I have to take a nap. I've kept thinking I would work thru this phase but it hasn't happened, yet, but it will. Along with this one of my vocal cords decided to stop working and I now talk in three seconds bursts. Still about to communicate but it's a "drag" for me and those who try to understand me. But, help is in sight. Tomorrow, one my brother's colleagues, Doctor Peter J, will inject some collegian into it and I should be able to talk somewhat better. Would, of course, appreciate your prayers.
This AM I had another scan to see exactly how the cancer is doing since the last one I had three months ago. Should know something about that in a coupla days and I promise I will let you know. Did take a few days off last week and visited Arlington, VA, to see my #1 granddaughter's "new" (1930's bungalow) home that she and her husband had spent the last three of four months renovating it. They had a great open house and just less than 100 people showed up. Was great getting out of town.
Oh yeah, keep my caregiver in your prayers also, she goes for a "collonostomey" (not spelled right and SPELLCHECK wont help). Latest prayer list includes, Jimmy D, Jim W, Pam P, (and a new "cancer pal") Dan S, Eric A and another new guy Bob M. That's all folks, for today!

2011-06-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

April, May, now June. Have been quite too long.
First, I'm doing well and holding my own. Which means the cancer and I are head to head. It's not getting the next foothold and neither am I. To recap, I had that good scan in December, "significantly reduced" and another in March, "holding my own", which are both great. In January, with that good news, I decided to eat on my own for about 3 weeks and it worked well enough for me to remove the feeding tube. Then for the next 4 weeks I maintained my (skinny) weight, about 140 and then I started dropping something, it seems like, an ounce a day, and could not get it back. Finally down around 134 and it seems like I'm eating all the time, but I can only eat so much before my gut starts cramping. So then I try to eat that much but more often. Never finish a "meal" that I'm not thinking about the next. Not because I'm hungry but because I need to sustain my energy level. But, hey, at least I'm here to do it. I get another scan on July 19 and, who knows, maybe they will find what is causing it. I did have an upper scope, about 3 weeks ago, and the doc didn't find any more cancerous growths, so that's a wonderful thing. I'm hoping and praying that I'm just going thru a "phase" and I'll come out the other side being able to eat (and enjoy it) and start gaining just a little weight. Just some would help my feeling.
Oh yeah, for some reason one of my vocal cords quit working. You should (not) hear me try to talk! Speak in 3 second bursts. Not good at all on the phone. My brother, Charles, the ENT Doc, my be going to inject something in the cord that's not working that should give me a better voice. Kinda tough on a guy who makes his living talking, but as always, I have Lynda here to cheer (and admonish --- when I don't do my voice exercises) me on! What would I do without her? Don't even ask!
Thanks for all your prayers and I promise I will be more forthcoming in the future and not let my spirits get down. One has to hold one's faith because it doesn't hang around on it's own. Each day I remind myself that the Lord has kept me around for a reason and each day I look to see what it is for that day.

2011-04-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

I received an email from a long time friend who said, "You, obviously, must be doing better because you haven't updated your blog lately."
I am proud to report that she was right, and I apoligize for not, at least, let you share in this last three weeks journey as I fought thru my worst fears as I had lost about five pounds. It, now, seems that I "worryed" myself into that little problem, but now I plan on solving it.
Last Monday I went for a CAT Scan. First one I've had since December 21. The results came back today. "No new involvement. Situation in my body is stable". Second best result I could expect, with number 1 being, "Cancer Free" but the Lord is saving that for sometime down the road. Now, don't think I'm "foreshadowing" what I would like for Him to do, it's just fact. I will be cancer free someday, either way!
Plan on running a 5 K on Saturday. Also will have my two youngest grandchildren with me to run a 1 K. Claire, 9, and Clay, 6, are involved in Track so I'm sure they will outrun their Granddad, and that's OK.
Please add another name to your prayer list. A buddy of mine, Eric, just found out he's has cancer and it's "off to the races" with him to fight this junk!
Lynda, after she quit jumping up and down, is doing well. I swear all this stuff is harder on her than it is on me, but the plus side on that is that she is more joyous with the good news. Makes my heart proud.
As I've said many times, without all your prayers and the help of a good woman, (Lynda), I'd been dead a long time ago.
Love you all.

2011-03-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Can't believe that I've not "posted" in the last thirty days!
Life is good. Am still holding my weight at 140 and am learning that even tho you my "kick cancer" you still have to live the rest of your life with "rearranged plumbing". Once the docs take part of you stomach life changes forever. I eat, seems like, all the time --- and that's a good thing, especially since everything tastes good now.
Need to report on two of the ones that you all are praying for. Marilyn is doing great. Got a good report. And, Jimmy D made it to a milestone, his daughter got married. I know, somewhat, how he feels. I made it to my granddaughter's wedding last August. There was some serious thought (and not by me) that I might not make it, but I did! The Lord is good --- and so is Lynda!
For me, all is well. It's easy to describe how bad you feel and why but it's a little difficult to explain it all when life is going "normal."
Still have to teach myself how to run. For the first time. I guess I came out of the womb running but the last two years took me down and now I having to listen, (to my self), what I told a thousand people over the years. "Run so that whoever sees you thinks you are running. Then, when you can't do that any more, start walking until you feel like you can run again. What will happen, in time, you will walk less and run more." Hard to be attentive to your own words but I'm learning.

2011-02-28T11:54:00.000-08:00

Lost one of our pals we have been praying for, Ben. He was big strong gentle giant of a man. Only 35 and had been more a man for the Lord than many twice his age. Found out he had cancer in December of 2010 and died last week. Hard to understand, actually, impossible to understand. His life will be reflected in the witness he was to the football team he coached and the ones he taught. Thanks to all of you who prayed for a miricale, it's just that The Lord had another plan and someday we will know what it was.
I saw the doc last week and he agreed it was time to "pull the tube." Today it happened. Now, I don't have a "fall back plan", if I lose weight, but I sure don't plan on it. "Ran" a 5K this weekend to celebrate. (The word "run" is loosely applied to what I did. Slow but sure would be more appropriate.
Am still maintaining my weight at 140, which has not been a problem. Lynda is there with me thru all the challenges and the goodtimes.
Marilyn, which we have been praying for is holding her own, but keep her in your prayer. Gary has had some setbacks but is still trucking on. Jimmy D is getting good reports and living life, well. Jim W is starting his treatments and they are going well. He's learning about "Life in the Cancer lane." We've all learned that's there is life doesn't end when the doc tells that you have it but it does change you life as you live life with it.
Thanks again for all your prayers. And, add Amy, Ben's wife, to your list, please.

2011-02-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

Did not spend time in Nashville, this last weekend, as planned. Was going to be there with two of my granddaughters and with one for Dad's Day at Vanderbilt. Ended up seeing them in Hot Springs, AR, for the funeral of their other grandfather, John Wilcox. He was great guy and I will miss him. Lynda and I spent time with his wife, Audrey, and all their children, 4, grandchildren, 11, and great grandchildren, 8. Was a great celebration of a life well lived. Left an amazing legacy.
My life has been fantastic since Jan. 1. Eating well and maintaining weight. Am in the process of weaning myself off my feeding tube, even as we speak. As long as I weight over 140, both in the AM and the PM, I "abstain" from the feeding formula. Makes me think about eating the right amount at the right time. Next time I see the doc, Feb. 22, the question will be: "Anymore chemo in the foreseeable future for me?" If the answer is no, then out comes the tube, I get a stitch and the world opens up for me.
Rest assured that I would not be where I am without all the prayer and support from all my loved ones, friends I know and ones I've never met. And, of course, caregiver Lynda. Each day I get instructions on how to get to tomorrow and they have all worked so far. Near as I can count, that's approximately 500 plus days so I'm not stopping listening now!
Love you all.

2011-02-04T17:01:00.000-08:00

January went great. Am now able to eat three meals a day. (Sometimes four). Food is tasting like it used to, in most cases. Taste buds decide what they are going to accept and they are the final decision maker. Have found that once they "reaccept" a food they don't "take it back." But, it still does not keep me from being a little spooked when I put something in my mouth that hasn't been there in a long time. Vegetables are now my pride and joy. Now I have to watch and not eat too much. My FPU (food processing unit) will "speak to me" if I do. Three quarters of a full meal is great for me. Oh yeah, if I eat too much my FPU processes it very quickly and lets me know. Went to two docs last week and they both liked my progress and are suggesting that I cut back on my feeding tube "meals" and see if my weight remains constant. I'm now at about 140 and that's a good weight for me so I weight morning and night and make sure that I'm at least 140. Took a coupla days off and I ate a little more and I did good. That was practice for when I go to Nashville on the 11th to spend two days with my granddaughter. It's Dad's day at Vanderbilt and her Dad will be in Europe and I get to be the stand in. What a blessing. After I get back I'm going to try four days and see if I can eat enough to hold my weight.
Need to add a name to our pray list. Ben. 35 years old and has just discovered he has multiple cancers. Married with children. He will take a miracle and I ask that you pray for it. Oh yeah, Lynda could not be happier with my progress and guess what? If Mama's happy then everybody is happy. Please pray for Ben.

2011-01-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

2011 has worked out to be a good year! No more chemo for now. I am just on Herseption (not spelled correctly) which is a drug mostly used to treat breast cancer. My cancer showed the same "markers" so we will see, in about 3 months, how it's doing. I get the drug every 3 weeks and I will probably be scanned after about 6 treatments. Good thing there are no side effects! All is well with my care giver, Lynda, and she continues to keep me on the "straight and narrow." And God keeps giving me the strength to weather all these storms so what more could I ask for except, prayers? You Prayer Warriors that have held me up all these months I ask that you don't quit now. You know that me and my cancer pals rely on your communications with the Lord! Love you all.

2011-01-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

What a glorious New Year! Woke up 1/1/11 ready to eat, and I did. Breakfast was an egg, but lunch was pork chop (1/2) squash, black eyed peas, corn bread, wilted spinach salad and candied jalapenos. Could not have tasted better! Almost ate like a regular person and it did feel good. 1/2/11 was the same! Boy did that feel good. Go the chemo doc tomorrow and we plan what to do about the rest of the cancer that's lurking around in my gut. If it were not for that I might just pull that feeding tube today. I do get it stitched back in tomorrow AM, just in case!
God in Good and His mercy defies understanding. My Bible tells me that He doesn't cure all illness but He give's you the strength to handle whatever life throws in your face. Back to working out this AM. Got that race to run in April! Please keep up the prayers for my pals. What would I do without Lynda? Always there with the right suggestion. Life is Good! Love you all.

2010-12-31T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are on the last day of the year. Time to reflect. Even with it's challenges 2010 has been a good one. (Actually, any year you are alive at it's very end is GOOD.) This last week (actually 9 days) Lynda and I spent with all our family in New Mexico. What a wonderful time. Next year I will ski.
Had some sombering news today. My friend, Jim W has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, also. I would ask you all to add him to your prayer list.
The last few weeks have brought good news. As you all know I've finished my second series of chemo and had a Cat Scan on Dec. 20. Results are in. "Significantly Reduced." Great words to hear now I've got to get to eating and get this feeding tube out! Have not talked with my chemo Doc yet to know what his plan is in "getting after" the rest.
Was a bit aprohensive in being in NM for 10 days and being away from all my support base, but all went extremly well. Again, I just don't have enough faith sometimes.
Had a "funny" thing happen today. (Background: One flushes his feeding tube both before and after! Timely.) I woke up this AM when my pump finished it's work getting the "feeding tube food" into my body. (Let me correct that last statement. I can't hear the "warning buzzer. Too high a frequency for me, but Lynda hears it and lets me know.) Well, when the buzzer went off and Lynda woke me I turned off the pump and went back to sleep. What one should do in that case is to get up, flush out the pump and then go back to sleep. Guess what, my tube clogged up. Bummer! Try as I might I could not get it "open." Usually that means a trip to the doctor, if he's in, or a trip to the emergency room. And, as luck would have it, the stitch that holds the tubing into my stomach also broke. What a mess! And, then I sneezed. Boom, the tube shot out of it's little hole in my gut!" Hmmm", I said. "Do you think I can clean this tube out now?" "Especially since it New Year's Eve weekend? Well, to make a long story longer, I did clean out my tube, inserted it back in my stomach and tapped it in very securely and now I'm good until the Doc's back in the office Monday. Would I recommend this? Nope, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do!
Please, keep up the prayers and I love you all!

2010-12-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

What cancer and sickness cannot do......

It cannot cripple LOVE,

It cannot shatter HOPE,

It cannot corrode FAITH

It cannot destroy PEACE

It cannot kill FRIENDSHIP

It cannot suppress MEMORIES

It cannot silence COURAGE

It cannot invade THE SOUL

It cannot conquer THE SPIRIT

It cannot steal ETERNAL LIFE

from the Senior Times, Montreal

I was swinging very low until I read this in my doctor's office. I needed it!
All has been going well it's just that I had not looking at the glass being 3/4 full. I was bound up in the 1/4 empty (so I was thinking) but after reading the above 10 times, life is good!

2010-11-30T08:43:00.000-08:00

Today I start my last round of chemo, that is scheduled. I will then get a scan sometime early 2011 to asses the success of the treatment. We do know there has been progress because my "twist" disappeared and I'm now able to eat. It's been wonderful to get to the point that I can begin to taste foods again. I know that the chemo will modify that again but just knowing it will come back, again, in about a month is encouraging. I was feeling so good that I began to say, "Come the first of the year I'm going to begin my new life!", which would assume that I would be cancer free and I would have all this behind me. But, I realized that I was predetermining what the Lord had in store for me and I realized that my job was to just wait for the scan and see what He had in store for me.
I have gained a little weight and am up to 140. Of course, I had all my pants taken up, so they wouldn't fall off, and now they are a bit tight. I do know that Jan. 1, feeling as good as I do now, I'll start back working out. Another thing that's going to be fun is to begin cutting back on the cans of food that go thru my feeding tube and maintain my weight and strength. I realize it's all in my hands (and God's) as to how that goes. Right now I'm looking forward to Christmas. Will be in New Mexico with all my family. What a blessing. I'm still amazed at people who say they are amazed with me, in how I've fought this disease and I think to myself, "How can you not fight?" but then I know that sometimes you can give up, and I want to cry for those who do. Life is wonderful. Lynda is wonderful. My family is wonderful. My caring friends are wonderful. And God is wonderful. And I've said many times, without the prayers that have held me up and Lynda, I would not be here, but here I am. Love you all.

2010-11-18T15:45:00.001-08:00

Eleven days out of chemo and I'm feeling great. My doc was kind enough to grant me an extra week before I start the last round. That week will take me thru Thanksgiving. I will eat some of everything. And, about eating. Going well. Oh yeah, this AM I weighed in at 139! Most in over a year. I am blessed that I get my taste back each time. And my mouth and throat quit being sore. Feel like a regular person, if it was not for this tube in my gut. Again, I'm not complaining just stating the facts.
Here's my plan. 10 days out of the chemo hole, next time, I'm going to be able to eat more and it will taste better and I will start cutting back on what I send thru the tube until, ta de da, I don't need it anymore and I'm planning on making that happen timely. Also, about that same time, I will be getting a scan (pet or cat) that will show the docs what all good they have been doing. And then they are going to pat me on my head and say, "Come on back and see us in six months." At that point I run yelling out of the office.
Hey, that's what all you are praying for and my responsibility to make it happen. Keep all my cancer pals and Lynda in your prayers. Judy W, Gary C, Melissa C and Jimmy D. Until next time --- I love you all.

2010-11-07T14:40:00.000-08:00

Some monumental days have passed. First, 11-4-10. One year aniversery of having my surgery! What a journey. Second, last night I went without activating my feeding tube. Which means I've been eating more! Great milestones for me.
Don't ask me how the tube in my gut got "untwisted." Even the doctors are unsure, (Lord's work, don't you know.), but I've been able to eat and keep stuff down.
OK, let's take if from about three weeks ago. I had been feeling pretty good and able to eat a little bit. Went to the doc to set up my next chemo and it turned out that my white blood cells were down so I got a week reprieve. That week turned out great. Got more energy and was able to eat "almost" meals that tasted great.
An aside here. I'm not hungery so I eat because it's "time to eat" and thank God I've got my tastes back so food tastes good, again.
With the strength that I gained I handled my fifth chemo fine. Unhooked yesterday from the 5FU and really had no major problems last week. Today, I'm getting a bit of sore throat but that's to be expected. The fantastic news is that I only have one more round of it and then they do a scan to see the results. With the way I'm feeling I believe it's going to be great.
Please continue to hold up my cancer journey warriors, Jimmy D, Judy W, Gary C and Melissa C. Cancer ain't for sissies!
Caregiver Lynda is my rock. God is Good.

2010-10-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

Dang! I've been remiss in keeping up my end of the bargain! Letting you know how I'm doing. Well --- well, is how it's going right now. Last round of chemo didn't take me into the chemo hole as far as usual but it took longer to come out! Last Monday, went to my (round four of six) chemo doc and he told me my white blood count was not high enough for me have it. Mixed emotions. Sooner I get all this chemo over the sooner I find out "where I am" in the grand scheme of things, but I was tired on Monday and we have a full week of work (Thank You Lord) so it really worked out well. Am eating three times a day, not much, but some. Lynda could not be better! Need to add another cancer pal, for prayer. Melissa C, along with Jimmy D and Gary C. Love you all! God is Good!

2010-10-12T07:15:00.000-07:00

Coming off 5FU chemo is always a challenge but I'm here to report that for me it seems to get a little easier after every one. I've done 4 and still have 2 to go. However I will tell you that every inch of your skin, from the neck up, is either "sore" or sensitive. That includes my tounge, my lips and my throat. So, you just don't say much, eat much, cough or spit. But, hey, I walked a half mile the last two days so that tells me my engery level is up and I'll take all the good signs.
Pray for care givers. I swear that's tougher than any thing I've gone or going thru. God is Good

2010-10-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Who would have ever thought I would have posted 100 entries on my Blog? Not me, for sure!
Just finished, today, my fourth chemo on this last batch. Only two more sessions to go, Lord be willing!
Lost a great and long time friend this week. Donald Moreland from Levelland. I don't remember we not be knocking heads, all my life. In church together, R. A.'s, shuck, we were probably baptistized at the same time. Lung cancer got him. He had never smoked and neither did his wife or his parents. Some things you can't figure. Don lived a blessed life. Surrender his life to Christ early on, taught school a coupla years and then got into what the Lord had planned for him all along, church work. If only we all could say when we pass, "We did what the Lord wanted." Well, Don did.
You all have been praying, also, for Jimmy D and Gary C. Want to report that they are both doing well. Not cancer free but able to do the things that six months ago they couldn't. I'm feeling well, right now, but the next five days are supposed to "rag" on me. Time will tell. Still eating, some, 3 times a day. Not enough to pull my feeding tube but food is tasting better.
Love you all and Lynda is doing great!

2010-10-05T03:37:00.000-07:00

Not only did I survive the 5 days of being down (coming out of chemo) I've felt better the last 5 days than I've felt in I don't know when. How can you feel "down" when you wake up and smell the flowers, in fall? How can you not celebrate when you get to see or talk to your some of your kids and grandkids everyday? When you can get and receive a hug from your wife? When your friends or people you work for call and ask you to solve problems for you?
Let me tell you about my last four days. Friday afternoon Lynda and I jumped on an airplane and went to Albuquerque. Saturday morning, at 6 AM found us waiting for the pilot to blow our balloon up and by 8 away we went in a hot air balloon. Angie, my #2 daughter had purchased Lynda and I a ride. (It was for Lynda's birthday and I got to go along!) Angie went, also. What a thrill skimming across the skies and being able to watch about 500 other balloons launch. You can't describe it, other that fantastic. We did clip a barb wire fence when we landed because our pilot ran out of gas, but who cares, we made it safely. Satuday night we went to a "pre party" that my sister and her husband put on to celebrate the coming marriage of their son. And then Sunday we attended the wedding. What a celebration. Then Sunday evening, back home. The only "hiccup" in the weekend was that the suitcase caring my "formula" for my feeding tube decided it didn't want to come with us on the same flight. But, thank God, it jumped on the next one and we avoided a crisis. The Lord knows what He's doing, don't you know!
Today, Tuesday, I start my fourth round (in this second phase) of chemo. Already looking forward to those days after my "5 in" and my "5 out" days. I know I'm going to feel even better after this round and will only have 2 more rounds to go. Oh, I forgot to mention that yesterday I had oatmeal for breakfast and then for lunch I went to a Mexican food restruant and ordered an enchilada. Opened it up, ate all the chili and the taco meat and none of it came up last night. Milestone! Wish me blessings (I've got all the luck I can stand)! Keep my pals Jimmie D and Gary C in your prayers. Lynda is still my Rock and will be forever. The Lord is Great. Love you all.

2010-09-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

The eternal optimist in me, everytime, figures that the chemo is going to be better. Not! The five days "going in" is really no big deal (once you get past the fact that you have to carry chemo around with you for 96 hours), but the five days "coming out" are a bitch, to put it mildly. You don't want to move. Your lips crack. Your throat is so sore that you get something to write on rather than talk. And, did I mention you don't want to move?
Well, I'm passed that today so it's on to something more fun. Working and playing.
I know you knew that I went to my granddaughter's wedding and was asked to say the "family blessing." I have been asked to "publish" it, so here it comes.

Our gracious Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the many blessing that you have already given Erin and Lynn. And, thank you for all the blessings that are being prayed down on then right now.
Lord, tonight, I would ask that you endow their lives with and extra layer of discernment.
First, to know when to share in word or deed, the love of your Son to those You place in their lives.
Second, wisdom to know "when to think before you speak." To understand that sometimes a word in anger or perceived hurt can cause pain that can take years to heal.
Third, that when they have children that they speak to them as one, tempered with Your teachings.
And last, that when they are blessed with grandchildren, they realize, along with their children, that these are their true stars in their crowns.
In Your Son's precious and Holy Name,
Amen

2010-09-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

The Scan is Back and the news is good. The surgeon, (who is 50 and does triathlons --- and I sure put my faith in people who like to take care of their own bodies!), told me today that we are "a go" if I want to do surgery to "route around the twist." Now, even better news. I'm now able to get down soups and such, again, and this time without regurgitating them back up. Lynda and I look at it this way. The Lord, just may, be using the chemo to "untwist the twist" so we are putting the surgeon "on hold."
We lost a week of chemo and now this week I am doing my 96 hour 5FU. The "skip" did allow me to be at the top of my game for the Lawn Chair Drill Team performance last weekend (more on that later) and it will allow me to go to my nephew's wedding in Santa Fe on Oct. 3. Lynda and I will join Gary and Angie for one day at the Albuquerque Balloon Festival. Will send pictures. The only down side of doing the 5FU this week that I will hauling around Friday and Saturday at our big parts move --- but Lynda and spent all of yesterday reviewing all that's to be done so now she will working with Ed and I'll be the kibitzer from the sidelines. Hey, I can handle that.
The deal last Saturday night was the awards banquet for our Chamber of Commerce. (And, our LCDT performance was the opening act, not only for the gala but for the grand opening of the new Hurst Convention Center.) Our Chamber represents three cities, Hurst, Euless and Bedford. I have been a director two times. Once in the 90's and then I was asked again late 2008 and then as you know, I broke my leg January 2009 and then found out I had cancer June of the same year. My participation has been limited, to say the least. Well, to my great surprise, I was awarded the last award.
I was so stunned that I didn't listen as to why. It must have been for "Lifetime Achievement." I was humbled and honored. Lynda and laughed (and cried) that they decided to do it while I was still around.
The Lord has been beside us thru this whole journey but this week we were able to scrap away all the stuff that we had allowed to come between He and us and feel so much more of his love. And you know, His love, also, comes to us thru your prayers and we feel them every day. Love you all.

2010-09-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

To "clean up" some thoughts that I skipped over earlier.
I did remark earlier in August that when I did the first round (of the second round) of chemo, it knocked me down pretty good. So, the doc cut the doseage by 20% on the second round and, boy, did I think it was a piece of cake. Sailed thru it with flying colors just wondering when we could do this again! (Not really.) And, then the second day after chemo finished, the sun rose and I didn't want to. Then, the third and fourth day you could have used me for a rug. "Hey," I said to my self, "this dang stuff is working!" Fifth day began to come back. First thing you do in those circumstances is start looking at your schedule. So with what's coming up, --- a trip to NM, a lawn chair drill team performance and a big parts move for a BMW dealership --- how am I going to feel when each of these come up? At this point I made it by last weekend in New Mexico with flying colors and was looking forward to starting chemo yesterday so that I would finish Aug. 11, LCDT performance, and then would have "bounced back" by the August 17, 18 and 19 parts move. Well, after my CT Scan at 8 AM I ventured over to my chemo doc. "Pal," sez Doc Turner, "your white blood count is down so you get only 1/2 (the not so bad part) of your chemo today. Come back next Tuesday and let's see how you are doing and by that time Tommy (my general surgeon) will have read you scan. We would not want to be in chemo mode if wants to operate." So now, here I sit. Gonna be in great shape for the fun weekend but may be down and out for the working weekend. Lynda sez, yesterday, "OK, let's you bring me up to date on all that's going on in this move and I'll be you next weekend if you start chemo on Tuesday." What a girl. What would I do without her. Not to mention, in the last six months, our son in law, Ed, has worked his butt off keeping us at home (for the most part) and helping taking care of our business.
So, that's where we are, again. Waiting, but, hey! I'm still here to wait around. As a friend Jan Rowe told me today, we see such a small part of the big picture that it's hard to determine "why." So, we just accept that we are living the Lord's purpose and smell the roses along the way.
Oh yeah, one other thing on our schedule. A wedding, my nephew Daniel, October 3, in Santa Fe. Did I ever mention how important "short term" goals are? They keep you from feeling sorry for yourself and make you plan for life as it happens, not dwell on what you can't do. Love you all.

2010-08-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

Today I received an answer to prayer that I didn't realize I prayed for. The answer was "Wait." And, after fighting my human side that wanted to ask "Why?", I am now resolved to the answer.
My docs, chemo, digestive and the one who does scans, plus my brother Charles, have been mulling over the fact that I have that "twist" in my gut and have been looking for a solution. After much discussion, which I dearly appreciate, they got me an appointment with a general surgeon, the one who put in my feeding tube and I trust him with my life. Their collective thought was that he could, laposcopeley, (I misspelled that word but it means with three little bitty holes he sends in a camera and coupla sets of scissors and pulls out what doesn't need to be there and you get well), I digressed there! They felt that he could do one of three things and I might live a little more happily the rest of my life. They were: 1. Find that the problem was adhesions and cut them out and my "twist" would be gone. Or, 2. Find some lymph nodes (probably with a bit of cancer in them), trim those out and I'd be happy, or 3. If the first two don't work then create a bypass around the "twist." Sounded good to me and I looked forward to which option he would choose. First thing he did was to tap just above my belly button, where the my last surgery was, and proclaim, "Hmmm, that's kinda hard and it could be the tumor growing right there and if I go in, which in any case would be a full blown surgery, I could be doing more damage than good."
I wanted to say, "Is this a Ceallis commercial where they tell all the negative effects of the drug and never say anything about the good side?" But I didn't. While I was pulling myself off the floor he said, "Before we can make any decision (I started feeling some hope) I need for you to get another scan." OK, so there is hope!!!!! Soooo, now I'm set for it on Sept. 7, but now, I'm off to New Mexico for the next five days and going to stay cool. Needless to say, Caregiver Lynda was devastated but after reviewing the fact that under the present conditions we can go on for a long time (and the Lord whopping us up side the head a coupla times), we moved on.
Life is good so appreciate every second. Hard to believe this journey has been over a year but then I realize that's time the Lord has given me and I feel blessed. Love you all.

2010-08-27T06:28:00.001-07:00

My last chemo, which started August 18 (for four days) was so much better on me "during" than last time. When I finished my thought was, "That wasn't bad at all." And then a day later, BOOM, --- now it's working and killing the cancer --- got to be because I feel like it's killing me. Next day a little "lower" and then I started coming "back out." Mouth was sore as was my tounge and throat. Didn't want to talk! Slight nausea all the way, don't you know. But today, I'm feeling so much better. Not gonna push myself but right now I'm on top of the world. (Relatively speaking)
Tried to eat something the last coupla day, mostly soup. Day before yesterday it worked pretty well, but yesterday I "went out to eat" and had some broccoli cheese soup that had something in it that didn't set well with my FPC. Paid for that --- all night long, so, so much for that. Have an appointment with a surgeon next Monday and we are going to talk about a "bypass" around that "twist in my gut" that doesn't let food down. More on that later. Lynda is still right on my shoulder and it sure feels great having her! I'm still thanking God for allowing me the privilege to go to the wedding. Love you all.

2010-08-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

We've got past Thursday and the barbeque. Now, to Friday. That morning my son in law had planned a skeet shooting outing for the guys. About 25 went but I declined and you will see why later because I only had so much engery to use that day. While the guys were out shooting all the girls were at the bridesmaid luncheon. (I dropped a load off at 11:30 and promptly got lost and it took me 45 minutes to get back to the hotel. Had my daughter and her two children waiting on me so I was a bit rattled, don't you know.) They stayed with me until their dad got back home and then I dressed for the 4 oclock wedding rehearsal. Had the rehearsal and then off to the rehearsal dinner, 7 PM. After that my daughter had planned a party for all the out of town guests, back at the hotel (Dupont Hotel in DC) and I abandoned that about 11. Enough of good thing is enough.
Saturday morning we rested for the wedding. 3 PM, the guys loaded into a limo and went to my son in law's country club to leave the girls the hotel to dress. We put on our tuxs and were at the church at 4. At 5 the wedding took place. About 350 guests and was it beautiful. My future grand son in law started crying as soon as the door opened, and so did I. Wedding went perfect and, per the bride request, I prayed the family blessing after they said "I do". (If you want to see the pictures got to my facebook page and click on Angie's Photos-Wedding).
After the wedding all the guests were tranported back to the country club for the celebartion party and was it great. Erin, my granddaughter that was just married, sang two songs with the band and did a great job. Lynda and I punched out about 12, two happy campers.
Sunday morning, the "going away brunch" and then back to the hotel to rest, rest and rest. Monday morning to the airplane and slept all the way home, and finished up our rest on Tuesday. What a wonderful time.
Then chemo on Wednesday. Back to killing the cancer, hooray!
This round is not as bad, so far, as the last time. I know I was scared of the unknown the first time but this time I have an idea of what's coming. So far, less energy and a bit of nausea. But Ms Lynda is right there by my side at all times. Prayer is all around me so I'm in the best of hands. Love you all.

2010-08-19T02:01:00.000-07:00

What a wedding! What a wonderful time. Lynda and I left to go to DC last Wednesday. We got off the plane and the weather was just under 90 degrees. Until Monday, when we stepped back on the plane, the temp never got higher than that. And that was only the beginning. Thursday night we had a barbeque at my daughter and son in laws home. That morning we got about and inch of rain and then it cleared off. That evening she had six round tables and sixty chairs delivered for the yard and the patio. (Their home will handle thirtyish inside) and there were about ninety invited. Party was to start at 7. Well, at 6:30 the sky opened up again. For the next hour it rained. Two inches. At 7:30 it stopped. We gave the guests that had arrived towels and they dried the tables and chairs, put the table cloths on the table and at 11 that night you would have never known it had rained. 60 people in the yard and all the rest on the patio and in the house. So, you could tell it was going to be a blessed weekend.
I will share more on the "rest of the story" in my next blog.
Lynda and I prepared for the trip trying to learn how to keep me going as long as I needed to each day, and she did a great job. Everything I needed to participate in I was able to do so, with gusto I might add. Now, let me tell you, we had Sunday afternoon off and we watched the last round of the PGA, sometimes thru our eyelids and then slept on the way home, and then did much of the same when we got home Monday. So, I was ready to start the second round of the second phase of chemo yesterday. Since I've done that protocole once I kinda know what to expect so I'm not just "getting sick" because they say it could happen. This time I'm letting it "come and get me" if it so desires and right now it hasn't, thank the Lord.
Next time, Friday at the wedding. Love you all and God is good. Plus, how does one make it down the journeys without a wonder caregiver? I don't know and am not gonna try. Lynda is the delight of my life.

2010-08-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

Things that come to you: As I've always heard, "Life is like a roller coaster. You've got your ups and downs and twists and you don't know when they will come." Well, I've determined that when you get "older" your life is like tire on a car. "Sometimes you are at the top, freewheeling it, and sometimes you're at the bottom with the weight of the world on you, but there are two other times (because you know where you're going) that you are contemplating on how to deal with the phase you are fastly approaching." Hey, growing "older" ain't bad! The Lord has been working with me, hasn't He? Lord I love Lynda

2010-08-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Julia had a wonderful service. No way I could even begin to describe it. Just let me tell you, she will be remembered.
Preparation for the wedding trip "plunges" on! I started my second round of chemo on Aug. 4. (One chemo out of three. Will start the other two after I get back from the wedding.) Aug. 5 was a drag but everyday since then has been good. Mixing and matching extra feeding tube food and 5 hour energy drink, to find the perfect formula for next weekend. What a blast it will be. I may have told you that Erin and Lynn asked me to say the "blessing prayer" at the end of the service. I now have it written and will share it with you after "the deed is done."
Still looks like I will have to have a "by-pass" done in my gut. Occasionally I try to eat something but the "twist" is still there. But, that's to faced after this week after next. Thanks for your prayers and love.
One of these days I will share with my thoughts on "when you roll yourself right off the table." But, that's another day. The Lord continues to be good to Lynda and I. Sometimes He has to give her some extra blessing because I sometimes don't "think before I speak." Please continue to remember Jimmy D. Challenging times.

2010-08-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

My great friend, Julia "Red" Terry Wakeley, had a massive stroke last week. Our lives have been intertwined since high school. Her family have decided to lift life support systems this afternoon. She has always beat expectations so I'm waiting for a coupla days before telling you about our lives.
The dilation I had last week. Seems the doc was able to expand one area but he also found a "twist" in my gut, further on down! Now there are five docs, including my brother, trying to figure out the next step. Out of all that has been suggested the one that sounds the best (to me) is to do a "by pass" around the twist. Please continue to pray for their guidance from the Lord. Also, continue to pray for all the other soldiers that are marching me in this journey. And, Ms. Lynda!

2010-07-27T03:42:00.000-07:00

Laugh or Cry, Fight or Die and Victor or Victim? (New addition) And, still I choose A, A and A. The last few days I've been dragging around the house like I was B on # 3 but now I've kicked that.
OK, here's the update on my latest round of chemo --- and of course the dilation. Started this latest round of chemo on July 14 and I've been checking each day to see how I will feel if I "take another shot" on August 4, and how I will feel thirteen days later at the wedding. Still don't know what I will choose since the chemo laid me lower than a whale's belly for awhile. All my skin on my face and head felt like it was burned from the inside. My tongue got sores all over it and for about five days I felt like the electronic mat that the runners in the New York Marathon run over to validate their time for the race. But, now that's passed. Victor, that's where I am!
About the dilation. Went well. Opened my up from a 4 to a 10. Two and half times. Next day had a vanilla shake. Opps, would not go thru. Most likely it looks like something is pressing against the area that allows food to go from my FPU on into my intestine. Guess we will do another sonogram, I hope. Did learn something that I hope will help the docs. Seems I have a lot of hiccups. And let me tell you, you can't rest or sleep with them, but as luck would have it, I've found out how to "arrest" them. Here's the procedure. I go to bed, no hiccups. About an hour later I wake up, no hiccups but I know they are coming. Swing my leg out of bed and there they are. Off to the sink. I wash my mouth out with water with a coupla swigs, and spit it out. (This is, of course, after I've set on the potty. First things first!) Then I take seven "Gideon" sups of water, and swallow them --- slowly. Within a minute it all comes back up with whatever is coating my eshpgaus, and guess what? Nine out of ten times the hiccups are gone. Wow is all I can say. I just repeat, if they don't go, and then they do. Boy have I got more rest. Off to the chemo doc tomorrow and I guess we will start making some decisions. I will feel good for my granddaughter's wedding on the 14th of August. The Lord reveals what He wants you to know each day. You can either have your head down and miss His revelations or your head up and see the way. Today my head is up. Oh yes, while your praying for me, include Ms Lynda (which I already know you do) but she's my rock and I love her for it.

2010-07-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got "dilated." I haven't been able to get anything down my "gullet" so they just opened it up. Needless to say, I've got a sore throat today. But, hey, I'm going to get to eat I hope. Turns out Dr. N discovered I had a coupla ulcers, go figger! I will tell you that chemo dries you out and when you're not taking in any water it's tough. But, all in all, I feel slightly better each day. Or should I say, I feel better longer each day. When I crater I crater! More to follow after I eat!
Oh yeah, I finally came to the conclusion that I had been asking God to keep me around without me telling Him why. Seems about 60 years ago I did dedicate my life to doing more than I was doing. My buddy Ray Quiett went on to preach as did Don Moreland, and I just kinda hung back. Over the years I been a pretty good guy but I sure haven't lived up to what I promised long ago, so, who knows, this could be the way of the Lord getting my attention. This is to let you know that when I come out the other side of this illness I will be a somewhat different guy. Something I should have done a long time ago. God is Good and so is Lynda.

2010-07-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Glorious day! Lynda prayed over me at length last night and: I got a much better night's sleep! I woke up with my Upper and Lower Umendeum not sticking to the inside of my skin! And, have I told you how much I wanted to drink water? This AM, with my FPC empty, I said, "What the heck. If it's going to come back up anyway why not drink some." Well, not really "drink", just "supping" it out of my hand just like the soldiers in the bible did so they could keep watch. Oh my gosh, did it taste fabulous! Some came back up --- but not all! This 5FU stuff dries your mouth out and I have a bottle of water with me at all times (and a spit cup). If I didn't do that my mouth would crack, and I only have a half a lap in from of me to get this first mile down. Praise the Lord. Oh, did I say I love you all --- and Lynda? If I didn't, well I just did.

2010-07-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

These people who tell you what "kick backs" you are going to get from some of this dang chemo is pretty dang correct. Nausea, hiccups, coughing, nausea. Plus I'm wiped out, don't you know? The first two drugs, Sisplaten (sp) and Hersepten (sp) didn't seem too bad. That took 5 hours (this being sick is a time consuming endeavor) and then home to the HHC nurse to hook me up to this 4 day deal. I'm looking at it like a mile run. Four times around the track. Here it is, Saturday evening and I just started the "Bell Lap." Do have some medi that somewhat counteracts the nausea but it puts you out for about three hours. Can't wait for phase 1 of 6 to be over and see how it going to be for the three weeks after that. (Then I start # 2) This stuff dries out your mouth. I have to carry water or ice chips around with me to "stave off" cottonmouth. You know how stuff you can't have can taste so good? Well, cool, clear water is unbelievable. I can't drink or it comes back up but oh it tastes so good--- oh so good --- when I wash my mouth out with it. I do have a dilation set for next Thursday and if I can drink water you will hear me yell no matter wherever you are.
Love you all, Thank you Lord, I love Lynda!

2010-07-15T00:56:00.000-07:00

Round Two started: Wow, did I have mixed emotions about yesterday! First, "You can't finish if you don't get started!" And Second, "How the heck is this gonna all play out?"
Tuesday, I felt like heck, just thinking about starting chemo again (Bah Humbug) and then again knowing, as my good friend Karen Watson sez, "Chemo is a thousand warriors of God fighting Cancer under God's direction." Let me tell you, my faith waned on Wednesday morning. My tail was dragging but off I went. Had a great visit with my Doc. Got started with two infusions about 11 AM, walked out of the infusion center about 3:30 PM, then my Home Health Care Nurse arrived at 4:30 to hook me up to and new pump that I carry around for the next 96 hours. Created me a way to hook both my new infusion pump and my nightly feeding tube pump on my "tree" so I can just roll around the house. Will be unhooked (for 10 days) from the chemo and then we do it again. Right now, 12 hours into this deal, I rolling on. (Obviously learning how to adjust so I can sleep.) As the HHNurse pulled the stuff out of the box she handed me all these gloves and scrub looking clothes. She sez, "In case you rupture that line, cut off the flow, put on the gloves and scrubs and begin to clean what ever spilled out and call us. That fluid is radioactive!" Pardon me, I sez! "In only 6 years have I only know of two instances of that happening.", she sez. Makes for good thinking every time you turn over, don't you know!
But now that I have the 1000 warriors working away and I have my two lines coming from the tree Velcroed together I'm in great shape. Think I'll have a coupla more ice chips and go back to bed!
Still can't eat but my Indo doc will do a dilation on my esophagus/stomach area July 22, three days before my 75 birthday party and maybe I'll get to eat a bit! Hooray!
Enough for now, Love you all, Pray for Lynda and God is Good

2010-07-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

As you can see, "I sometimes digress." I really set up this Blog to be able to create a chronology of my journey. Mainly so my wonderful friends could stay abreast of my "progress" and my wonderful new friends, that have the same problem could at least have an idea what I'm going thru so, perhaps, they would not be caught unawares when some of this stuff jumps on their back. And, yes, sometimes "I digress" adding things that are happening in my life to show that once you "get" cancer, it's not the end of the world. We are not "cancer victims" we are people with cancer. Having said all that, here is today's post.
About three weeks ago I began to get up every morning and when I would reach down to pick up the newspapers I would reguratate, only one mouthful, of what ever the last thing I had eaten the night before. Since I was taking pills to remedy part of that, I would wait until I "picked up the papers" before I ate my oatmeal, took my pills and sometimes an egg --- then would move on thru the day. "It" began to happen after every meal and every time I drank anything. Well, that's sure not a good way to add weight or even have sufficent energy to do anything during the day. Got that info to my docs. Added a drug called Reglan. Supposed to "begin to solve" the problem after about a week. Right now I'm in my 5th day of taking it. It's a trick keeping it down. Imagine, if you can, how much "fun" it is thinking about eating when you know what's going to happen if you do! I've counteracted the loss of nutrients by doing a coupla more Isosource thru my feeding tube. Who knows, next week I may be eating! But, as I've tried to say, you can't quit living --- or you're gone! Right now I'm at my #2 daughter's beach house in Rehobath Beach, Maryland. Lynda and I came up for a "couples shower" that took place on Saturday night. We got up here on Friday and my son in law took me to see the Washington National's play and I saw Strasburg pitch. Great new pitcher. Allowed 3 hits, 1 run and had 7 stickeouts in 7 innnings. Like I like to say, I have the energy level of a Sloth but I just keep on going! But then again, I digress.
I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers. Do keep praying for Lynda because without her I would be lost.
The Lord keeps giving me these marks to reach for. July 25 I get to celebrate my 3/4 of a century birthday and then, of course, my granddaughter's wedding August 14. Lynda and I are going to New Mexico sometime in August and then we have two big jobs moving parts departments, one in July and the other in September. God is Good!
Love you all!

2010-07-08T18:03:00.001-07:00

The reality of what's ahead finally settled in, so away we go.
I have received so many wonderful messages of support and prayers, but Lynda has received many that has really helped her. The Lord has given all of you to us and I just keep thanking Him.
I'm feeling pretty doggone good and am looking forward to being with the part of my family that's in DC. Of course I will report on how they are doing.
Had a visit with my journey pal Gary C in, would you believe, in the doc's office. Gary is 50 and we met because he had the same cancer, treatment and surgery that I had, so we have a bond. Was visiting with his Mom and Dad the other day and they commented that he was in a band, and really had been playing with these guys since he was in high school. She pulled out a magazine that had their pictures in it. Boom, I knew most all of them. They were all friends of the son of one our best friends 30 years ago. For some reason I never meet Gary then. The Lord moves in mysterious ways doesn't He?
Just got word that Dock and Patti will be coming by to see me and by then I will have my "pack on my back."
Oh, is Life Good.

Isaiah 43:2 “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up….for I am the Lord, your God, and I am with you always.”

2010-07-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

Now is time for Round 2. July 14. Start a four session of chemo to "hold in check" some cancer cells found in my omentum. (That's a cheesecloth type covering that covers the lower intestine.) Last time I did chemo in the office for about 4 hours once a week. This time I get a pack of chemo that I carry with me for four days. Depending on how I "tolerate" the treatment there will then be a three of four week gap on when the next one is. Right now, scheduled for 4 sessions.
I have worked with the doc and I will be at Erin's wedding, in good shape. We will actually start on the second treatment, most likely, after I return.
The Lord is Good.

2010-07-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

Well, today is a "coasting" day. (Any day that's "Not Bad" is good, and this is one of those. Eating is a bitch. Two to four ounces at a setting. And, obviously I must choose where I use that energy produced from that little bit, with caution. Have been in touch with some of my "Cancer Pals" who are a year ahead of me and they have indicated that this phase lasts five to seven months. Just having a goal in that time frame helps. Obviously, I've got to "save" all the energy that I can for my two trips to DC. It does feel good to sleep and that's a new feeling. For a while I didn't do that very well.
Looking forward to having the 4th with Deb, Ed, Claire and Clay and watching some fireworks.
And, don't forget, Life is Good! Enjoy every second!
My wonderful caregiver is taking care of me like a baby. What a blessing she has been for the last 55 years! Only been married 53 but she was "setting me on the right path" two years before. As I've said many times, "I hardly remember not being married and not having kids." Since I was 20 at the time it kinda makes sense!
Love you all, God is Good!

2010-06-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Nothing new to report except that I'm still here and doing well. Still waiting for the chemo doc to give me a report on what he saw on the disc and what the "new and improved plans" are!
Had a wonderful call from my granddaughter (Erin) who is getting married in August. She told me that she and her husband were planning on having a "blessing prayer" right after they were married and that a lot of the times the preacher does it. She asked me it would do it. After I quit crying I said yes. I am a blessed man!
Lynda and I are off to DC 9th to attend a "Couples Shower" for Erin and Lynn. Life is good.
Plus, less that 30 days from now I will "run into" my 75th year.
What would I do without Lynda? What a girl! With me in the good times and even closer in the challenging times. With her, all my girls (Wow), the son in laws, all the grands, my bro and sis, my cousins, the inlaws, the outlaws and all my friends across the globe, I've got it made. (If you felt I left you out, U B one of the outlaws!)
God is good!
Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-27T14:25:00.001-07:00

To all of you who have emailed me since I started this journey, I thought I would bring you "up to date" on where I am as we approach the one year anniversary on me finding out that the growth that was in my gut was cancer plus celebrating these past 12 months!
Three months ago I had a PET scan and at that time the docs could not see any cancer. Surprised my chemo doc but he did say congrats but let's do this again in a coupla months.
Two weeks ago, another PET. This time, the doc was not surprised because we found some "marbling" of cancer is some of my lynph nodes. Bah, Humbug! Well, that means Round 2 coming up. I should be getting with the chemo doc next week to plan our attack. The doc told me, after reading the results of the scan, "Hey, cancer does kill, but what I'm seeing right now is sure not gonna keep you from going to New Mexico in July and seeing your granddaughter married in DC in August. I'll check with my colleuges and we will get on with this deal of getting you well."
Now, I just hope he feels the same way after he reads the disc that he had not seen yet.
As for how I feel, good some days, better the next. Still having trouble eating. I kinda think that some of my current situation comes from not looking forward to the PET scan and then losing my buddy, Tommy T, to prostate cancer. Kinda takes the wind outa your sails. But, with all the people I have praying for me all over the world, let me tell you, I ain't giving up, no way Jose!
Last year, June 27, 2009, I ran my first race for that year, after breaking my leg on Jan. 3. I got up yesterday, went to the track and ran an "anniversary mile." Not as quick as last year but it's a place to start. This eating deal has me all messed up. I not a bit hungry but I know that if I wish to train to "go faster" I've got to take in some energy producing foods! You know, when you train, you condition your body to think that what you are doing is "normal" and it must step up to the challenge and get stronger. For example, if you lift weights daily your muscles "think" that's normal and correspondently the muscles get bigger. (Now, that's when your 60 and under.) But, along with that, your body asks for more fuel to accomplish the task, and that's where my challenge comes. Sure, I want to train to go faster --- BUT --- if you don't (or can't) eat you dang sure can't do it! Duh! Me, Lynda, my girls and the docs will figure this deal out!
Hmmm, I did leave out the Lord, but it was only out of that sentence! He has a plan and our job is to make it happen!
Hope this finds you all well and I'll keep you in the loop.
Love you all,
Your pal,
Leighton

2010-06-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, June 21, and finally I'm coming to my senses and writing again. Part of the reason I haven't is that I lost my good pal, Tommy, to cancer. Kinda knocks the wind out of your sails. Then I went thru a time that I had the energy of a sloth. Up in the AM, grab a book and start reading and read and sleep all day and then go to bed. My head was on backwards. Plus, I knew I was going to do another PET scan and I was having some doubts. Wanted that chemo port out so I could began to prepare to go to DC in July (for a couples shower) and August (for the wedding).
Well, the scan was done and it turns out I have some "marbling" of cancer in some of my nodes. The port stays in. Bah Humbug! Well, as my chemo doc and I discussed, Round 2 coming up. He told me that of course cancer is life threatening (duh) but this stuff I have now (which he really expected when they did a scan two months ago) is just going to take some more chemo to knock it down. We will putting together a plan this week but he also told me, "Don't worry, you'll be going to the wedding."
Love you all and I'm glad I've finally (partially) "got it together."
Don't know what God has in store for me but I'm His boy and we're moving on down the trail together. But, I haven't started on my "Bucket List" yet!

2010-04-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

Had a guy remark to me last week, "You're looking great. How do you feel?" I thought on that, and finally replied. "If I told you I feel great, I'd be lying, but, I'm still "feeling" and that's great!"
Honestly, I still have to remind myself that where I am is so much better that where I have been and so, so much better that where I could be.
I was doubly reminded of that the last coupla of days. I had "met" the mother of man who had esophageal cancer as like me. Has all the same doctors. And yesterday, he had his surgery. Visiting him yesterday reminded me (again) how blessed I am. He is doing great. (And I use that term "in context" because laying in a hospital bed having been flayed ain't fun Magee!") Seeing him lying there and listening to the experiences that he was having brought back a flood of memories that I had "deep sixed." Wow, that was not a fun time. Makes me realize that dealing with not being to be able to gain weight and "grow" my energy are minor problems. Plus trying to figure out what my FPC is going to do!
Lost my buddy Tommy T last week. Tough. He was one of those great guys. He was great friend and a dentist. What I like to say about Tom is that he lived his life "in the plural." Tom's life was never about Tom. First, and foremost, it was about his sweetie of over 40 years, Patti. Then is was about his family. His Mom and Dad, until he lost them, then his son, daughter in law and his two grandboys, plus his sister. And, it was his team at work. No one ever worked "for" him, they worked "with" him. Then there was the charity work that he did. Was a Rotarian for more years than I know. Plus, he was a founding member of the Lawn Chair Drill Team, of which I had the honor of being there with him. (And that may be a chapter for another day.) Tommy had a great Baptist upbringing like I did. Met and accepted the Lord years ago and I'm confident that he's in a much happier place right now. Knowing that makes it easier for those of us who loved him.
Please keep me and my buddy Jimmy D, who is doing well I might add, and now my cancer journey partner Gary C. Obviously what you have been doing is working and I love you all for it.
God is good.

2010-04-11T01:11:00.000-07:00

Everything going as planned. Feeling great, working, playing but still really enjoying an occasional "rest." FPU slowly but surely coming around and adjusting to have food flow thru it. Some days I really want to eat and then there are the others. But, I can't complain because I sleep great and I have Lynda with me almost all the time and I have Deb and Ed and two of my wonderful grandkids close all the time. OK, that brings up a story that I have to tell, about yesterday. I may have shared with you that I set as a goal, running a 5 K on April 10, when I started my rehab in January. If you could have seen me then you (as well as all my friends who did see me) would have thought I was crazy, and perhaps I was. (As an "aside" here, I believe one works harder at what one does if on has a goal, regardless how small or ridiculous.) Well, yesterday was the day, and with the encouragement of Lynda (plus Debbie, Claire and Clay went with me) I did it. The kids ran the 1 K which was at 8 AM and I chugged off on my 5 K at 8:30. The furtherist I have run since Jan. 1 was 1 1/2 miles so I had no idea how well my energy would hold up. I had worked my mile time down to 12:20 but that was only one time. Thought the first mile marker would never come. My whole body was tight as a drum. Finally it appeared and I began to relax and I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. Time for that mile was less that 13 minutes. Surprise to me. Clicked on thru the second mile the same way and now I'm feeling confident. Third mile was the fastest of all, 12:32 and with a good push the last 1/10 of a mile I "beat" the 40 minute mark. And then the "crowning achievement" was that there were only three people in my age group (70-99) and I got a third place trophy. I had been discussing my last year with the guy that handles the timing of the race (that I've known for about 25 years) why he had not seen me in over a year and it turned out he was handling the trophy presentation and he mentioned my challenge to the crowd and my grandkids said, "Pops, your famous. Everybody knows you and likes you." Put tears in my eyes!
Came home from the race and then Lynda and I went to visit our buddy, which you all have been praying for, Tommy T and I'm sorry to report that it looks like he will be received by the Lord in the next few days. I'm proud to report that he and I shared our childhood experiences, which were very similar in our Baptist upbringing, and he is a Christian. We will celebrate his life. God is good.

2010-04-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

Last time I said, "Hurdle # 2", what was I thinking? I've been hurdling obstacles ever since this deal started!
Yesterday, the chemo Doc validated the results of a great scan. No changes, except for the better. More info on that later. Will come back in 60 days and if everything is still the same then we pull the chemo port. Man, let me tell you, that's my goal for now. God is good!
Keep my pals Jimmy D, Tommy T and now Ronnie R, in your prayers.

2010-03-29T08:53:00.001-07:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Hurdle #2, my next chemo doc appointment. I feel it will go well. All systems seem to be going well. Biggest challenge is wanting to eat, which just doesn't happen. I do have my taste buds back and food tastes like it did but it just doesn't "summon" me like it used to. I find myself eating only because I know I have to. Just like putting gas in a car. No fuel, no go. And, when I do, my FPU "asks" me why I put it in there. Double Whammy. Even with all that I'm feeling well enough to work and play. Even as I write I'm in Las Vegas after just having finished an inventory here, yesterday. But, let me tell you, I've got some rest while I was here --- easy job. Still keep my buddies Tommy T and Jimmy D in your prayers. More to follow after tomorrow's appointment.

2010-03-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

2010-03-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today I go for a Cat Scan and have a chemo Doc appointment on the 30th. For the last five days I've felt like a regular person. Good energy and waking up at 5 every morning planning my day. Just like the old days! Please, keep my two buddies, Tommy T and Jimmy D in your prayers.

2010-03-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

Every time I look at my "skinny" picture it makes me grateful how far I've come. Now weigh 10 pounds more that I did then.
Well, I'm four months and two weeks into having a Food Processing Unit instead of a stomach. I'm still eating 4 meals a day (should be 5) and food tastes "sorta" good. Doesn't taste bad but don't ask where I want to go out to eat because it doesn't make any difference. I'm going to eat a half a potion, because I know that I must. Kind of a drag but l'm adjusting!
Had a funny thing happen a coupla weeks ago. Somehow I lost my valve that connects my feeding tube to the sack that has my "instant meal" in it. Searched the house to no avail. Started checking phamacies and medical supply houses. Finally found a week later. Hey, I survived a week without my "nightly feedings." Me weight did not seem to flucuate but I did find I started each day with less energy and finished less. But, I got everything done each day that I wanted to do. You just do what you have to do. Still have some fluid in the upper part of my right lung. Docs keep saying, "It should just clear itself out with time." Hmmm, I sure would like a method I could do it myself or a "projected date." Get to go back for another check in a coupla weeks, to see if I've developed any "hot spots" since my "clear" reading. Please keep me in your prayers and my two buddies Tommy T and Jimmy D who I'm sharing this journey down Cancer Road with.
Love you all.

2010-03-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

Just celebrated my "four month anniversary" of the surgery (and the accompanying chemo and rads) and it feels great. Still learning (and relearning) things as I go. Know that I must eat at least four times a day (really, five) in order to keep up my strength but I get "busy" and don't do it. Consequently, I run out of steam and don't get done what I should do, or not get it done to the level that I really want. If I use my feeding tube at night it gives me a head start the next AM, if I don't then I have no choice but to eat correctly. So here's what I've got to start right now. Use my tube every night (for now) and then begin to create my correct habit of eating and then start backing off the tube. Sounds easy so I'll do it. The challenge of eating still is that I can only eat about 3/4 of a regular serving and then food gets to not tasting good and I feel full. Forcing myself to eat more at a setting just upsets my food processing area and then I really don't want to eat. Now, I'm not complaining, mind you, just stating the facts --- and mainly for those coming behind me with this same challenge to know that this sort of thing happens! Rest assured, I can do what I want to do, it's just how I feel afterwards that I can control --- if I eat right. Worked the polls last Tuesday from 7 to 4:30 (I did sit some when there was a lull in the action) but let me tell you, I went home and went to sleep early and missed my guy's victory party.
Can't begin to tell you all how much I appreciate your prayers. Could not have made it without you.
Lynda continues to be right by my side every step of the way and encourages me beyond belief. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have family and friends. Without them one would have no life, but that's sure not my case.
Love you all!

2010-02-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

Each day looks better than the last. Slowly, but ever slowly, I'm gaining stamina. No more weight, mind you, but stamina. Eating about half of normal at each "setting", just try to "set" more often each day. Doc sent me to rehab a coupla months ago and that is still going very well. My "trainer" try's to kill me every Tueday and Thursday but you know what they say, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you well." (Well, maybe that's not it.) Still learning on the eating thing. Have it down to not eat late. Also have done well, (well, let me make that better), with a bigger pillow. I wake up about 3 with my neck hurting, change to my regular pillow and sleep like a baby for the rest of the night. Still have my feeding tube. Am cutting down on how much I intake each day and it I maintain my weight without it, then out it comes. Time will tell on that. Have had the opportunity to share the fact that a rubber plug, from a hardware store, is much more comfortable to "wear around" each day than the valve that's furnished with a feeding tube. Lynda is as happy as I've seen her in 9 months and obviously that makes me happier than I've been in that stretch of time, also. I still am in awe of the power of prayer and what God has chosen for me at this time. (Notice, I'm not assuming any more "time on earth" but am enjoying what I have each day from a different viewpoint.) He has a plan for me so I'm "keeping my eyes peeled" for that task or tasks. God is good.

2010-02-18T10:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a day or two since I've shared my life with you all. I had the privilidge to "share" my caregiver, Lynda, with Angie, my # 2 daughter. (Now, # 2 does not mean I love her second best over either of my other daughters, it just means that she was born second.) Angie had some surgery and the proper place for a Mom to be is where she is needed.
I will have to admit, I did pretty good taking care of myself while she was gone. Don't think, however, that I didn't miss her because I did!
My "condition" is getting better by the day. (How many times have I written that?) Today was a red letter day. I weighed in at 140. It's been a slow struggle from 130 and, who knows, the next 10 pounds my come easier. I sure hope so. Sleeping at night is still "iffy." Lynda did make a great suggestion that helped. A "fatter" pillow. Keeps my head higher than my Food Processing Unit (formally know as my stomach, when all of it was there.) I try to eat early, before six, and bland stuff, but you can only do that so long. I am not waking up as many times with (what was called acid reflux) a bitter taste in my mouth, and coughing. And, that cough thing. I don't even realize I'm about to experience "bitter taste" until all of a sudden I start coughing. Strange! Never did that before.
First of February I lost a life long friend of mine, Ronnie Leatherman, who was from Levelland. His wife and children called and asked that I and one of our other buddies, Dock, put out the word that they were going to have a Remembrance Gathering at his home in Lubbock. Ronnie, by buddy who died, had called me at least every week since I found out that I had cancer. He and his family lived in Denton one year while he was doing some "education" at The University North Texas and we had reconnected. The Gathering was to take place on Feb. 6, 11 AM to 1 PM. I set my plans, to Lubbock at 9 AM on that date and back at 3 PM. (Had a prior commitment for that night.) 9 AM, Southwest and I left Love Field (beautiful clear day) but we begin to encounter clouds coming into Lubbock. Fogged in! Lubbock? You've got to be kidding! Took a coupla shots getting in but to no avail so we went to Midland/Odessa. Hung out there for a bit, were finally cleared to go to Lubbock and we dropped back in at 1:15. Just in time for me to get something to eat and wait for my flight home. Had a call from Ron's son, Gary, to tell me how well it all went and to thank Dock and I, again. (Dock, who drove, was there with a good group of our friends.) Gary also told me that he was on his way to the airport so his sister, Kelly, could fly back to Houston. Will wonders never cease? She was on the same flight I was, so we had a great visit from Lubbock to Dallas. Also, while I was at the airport, Pat, Ron's wife, called to say thanks and how much she enjoyed the Gathering. I arrived back in Dallas with my day complete (except I didn't get to see a bunch of my friends, but there will be another day for that).
My caregiver is back and I'm complete once again --- as long as I have all of you! Thanks for your prayers and concern. Lynda, I, all my girls, my grandchildren and son in laws can never begin to tell you enough. Love you all, and in closing, today, remember ---
The only thing the Lord has promised you is the breath you just took. Enjoy the next one and thank the Lord.

2010-02-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

Have we discussed, lately, the importance of caregivers? Indispensable is the first and only word that comes to mind. Mine is there at every turn, good or bad. Always offering a word of encouragement when things are not going quite right. Keeping up with all the instructions that all the docs give and helping set up a routine (that you can live with) and reminding (kindly) when you stray. Sometimes you can "lean on" then just a little heavily. Not taking the responsibly for you own self that you should and you can "wear them thin." You will pay, and rightfully so. Just because you are the patient doesn't mean that they have to "be patient" all the time. If you, as the patient has any gumption at all you have to reverse roles on occasion in order for your caregiver to "refresh" and feel appreciated. I love my primary caregiver and all the "auxiliary" caregivers that I have, and I couldn't make it without them. They, their prayers and the prayers of all my friends and family around the world is why I'm here today and doing well. Love you all.

2010-01-31T07:18:00.000-08:00

Team, if you think that "clear biopsies" mean the end of the Blog, think again. This journey ain't over! I've been advised that I will checked every three months for the next year. And, I swear it's gonna take me that long to "come to an agreement with my Food Processing Area." (Which is the new name for my "stomach.") The FPA and I continue to have a running discussion on what, how much, when and whether it wants. If I don't get it "right" my gut knots up and stays that way, generally, until I go to bed that night. I can keep on doing whatever I want or need to do but it's sure unpleasant. And, at night (if I miss the right mix) it wakes me every two hours asking for something to settle it down. It's not really all that bad except you never feel completely rested. I did sleep about 7 hours in a row last week but I didn't remember the combination that allowed me to do it. Now I'm paying more attention. Talked with a coupla of my other "Cancer Buddies" and we have agreed that the "completley rested" feel goes away when you start chemo and radiation and none of us have made it back to that plateau yet. But, we are as a team, working back there.
I did find out something about myself when I got the (currently) clear message. I just thought I was a "roll with the punches" kinda guy. Just take whatever was thrown at me and travel on. But, no! When I got that message it shook me. I wasn't prepared for it. It took me three days to process it, even tho "clear" is not forever, I could not accept it for me. Not that I didn't want it but I dang sure didn't expect it. Would you call that lack of faith? Maybe it was me dealing with that lack of faith, which I thought I had --- and found out that I didn't. Well, I've since asked the Lord to forgive me for my unbelief and am traveling on to what He has for me to do next.
God is good --- and now I realize it more than ever!

2010-01-27T16:03:00.000-08:00

Friends, this post will be short and sweet. An answer to prayers and thank you all --- thank's doesn't really get it but it's all I can do right now.
My endoscope doc called this afternoon to tell me that all the biopsies he took last Monday, as he wandered thru my gut, came back clear.
I go to the chemo doc next Tuesday and I really hope he sez it's time to take out my port! Today is a red letter day but Tuesday will be the icing on the cake. Love you all. And, as I've said before, God is good!

2010-01-25T18:09:00.000-08:00

Today, had my endoscope. The doc told me everything looked good and, as far as he could tell, he didn't "see" any cancer. He did take some biopseys and that will tell the "real story." Will meet with the chemo doc on Feb 2 and he will give me the results. Mr. 2/3 and I are still learning how to live with each other!
On a more somber note, I lost a childhood buddy this last week. He had fallen about a year ago and hit his head and at various times had balance problems. Two months ago the docs put in a shunt. Last week, his wife had pneumonia, went to the hospital and the next day tried to contact him from there. No answer. A neighbor found him. He had fallen again, hit his head in the area of the shunt which moved his brain and he was unconscious. Life support keep him on earth until his kids and grandkids got to Lubbock. He passed away last Wednesday.
Since I have been on my "cancer journey" Ron has called to check on me every week. Again reminds me how fragile life is. I always had to ask him how he was doing because he never brought it up. Makes me realize how I've been almost totally concentrated on myself during my journey and how I've not reached out to those who are hurting. I'm not the only one traveling thru challenging times.

2010-01-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

With the top of each mountain you reach there's always a challenge to get to the next one. Got my taste bud back. Food tastes good, however, Mr. (3/4) Stomach decides what, when and how much it wants. Mr. S decides, after I've eaten, how to punish me for not checking with him before I ate. He knots up my gut. He keeps me from sleeping. And, when I do sleep, he sends me the most unusual dreams, so when I "sleep" I don't rest. Get up the next morning and I'm dragging, plus, the next time I sit down to eat I look at the food trying to determine the trouble it will cause me rather than how much strength it can give me. Not a good thing. After 10 days of wrestling with Mr. Stomach, he and I came to an agreement yesterday. I fed him 5 times --- small portions and kinda bland --- and he let me sleep all night. I did drink some Aloe Herbal Stomach Formula before I went to bed. Sleep all night. First time in about four months. God is good!

2010-01-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Just a short note to let you know that the chemo doc advised me that my PET Scan showed nothing that needed to be "chemoed" right now! Wow! In Feb I'll have another endoscope done to check out the area. That news was as good as I could have expected.
Praise the Lord. Love you all.

2010-01-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

Excellent New Year. Food is tasting so good that I've gorged myself a coupla times. I'm doing better controlling that urge. Mainly because my body made me "pay". Every time I do that it "costs" me a day to recuperate. I'm sluggish and tire easily the following day. Too old to waste days. Got to make 'em all count! Worked a coupla 10 hour days and they were both 2 hours too long. Another adjustment to make.
I did go to New Mexico for 5 days with Lynda and Angie (#2 daughter) and I shoveled snow. Wisely, only a coupla hours a day. Did come home with sore shoulders, but that was a good thing. Tomorrow, Tuesday, I find out if I'm thru with chemo or I get four more doses. You know what my prayer is!
Total aside from this cancer thing: My first granddaughter is going to get married, August 14, 2010. Another reason the Lord let me stay on this earth longer!

2010-01-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

What a difference a week makes! Or, could it be a New Year? Taste buds have "blossomed." Almost all food tastes good again. Before, when I filled my plate at a meal, I would take only very small portions until I figured out what I could eat. Now I take regular portions of almost everything and can eat what I call a regular meal. And to me, that's a "wow." And, with every "up" there is a "sideways." (Ain't no "downs in this house any more.") Now that I eat more food my (2/3) stomach is having to learn to deal with it. And as it learns I have to learn to deal with it's "dealings."
Rule #1: Never lay down to take a nap until 1 and 1/2 hours after eating. Rule #2: Take one Maalox Advanced before you go to bed or you will be getting up and taking one sometime in the next two hours.
Is this a good trade off to using your feeding tube?
Dang right, pardner!
Speaking of feeding tubes. As you know it's an appendage that is inserted into your lower intestine, comes out just above your belly button and you take your nourishment thru it when you have a blockage in your esophagus.
Now, when you want to "wean" yourself off the tube, you cut down on the number of cans (8 ounces each) that you feed your self. Then when your are able to eat "regular" food you can choose not to use it for a day or two or three.
That's real good except you have to tape the value that controls food going in and out (and it does "come back out" but don't ask me how) to your gut. It's about the size of a pack of cigarettes but with valves and stuff that "stick" you if you happen to hit it. The valve can be removed but I couldn't find anything to use as a stopper. Went to the pharmacy, they had nothing but they gave me the phone number of a medical supply company. Called them. "Yep," they said, "I know what you are talking about but we've nothing plug it up with." Not to be discouraged, I went to my local hardware store, Mr. C's. Presented to them my challenge asking for either a hard plastic or fiberglass plug. "Sorry," I was told, "but we do have a rubber one." Bingo, fit like a charm. Now I walk around and don't look like I'm "packing." Life is good! Mr's C's is good. God is good!

2009-12-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

Good news, then "news" that follows it!
Yesterday, Christmas dinner, I had my first piece of beef that tasted like beef in I don't know when. In the last week my taste buds had been "blossoming" so I hoped (and prayed) that is was only a matter of time before this happened. In that week I have been able to eat more and different stuff, but, along with that "privilege" another learning curve has presented itself, upset stomach (if that's what you call what I've got left.)
Doesn't bother me during the day it's just about 3 AM every night that "bubble, bubble, toil and trouble" visit. Called my surgery doc, who said this might happen, and he has me on Maalox Advanced and it's helping some. What I'm learning is that now I can't eat more that "one helping" at a time which is telling me that I will have to eat five times, or more, a day --- at least for a while. The doc sez that eventually my upper intestine will learn " to act as a stomach." Now, you tell me that we weren't "Designed" by a Supreme Being! You might try it but it will not work! Living (thank the Lord) and learning. More info on that, later, as it develops.
Now, one of the reasons the Lord has left me on the earth for now. Last week my (wonderful) Primary Care Physician called and asked if I would mind talking to a Mom (whose age showed her to be a contemporary of mine) whose son had just been designosed with exactly the same type of cancer in the same place that I "had" it and the Mom felt like this was the "end of the line." "Nope," I said, "I would be privileged to talk with her."
Made the call and we had a great visit. Told her, based on my experience --- which I shared with her extensively, there is life "with" cancer and the docs he has (which are the same as mine) are as good as one can get anywhere. I shared with her my Blog site. In about two hours I received this upbeat email to say that she had read it all and forwarded it to her son and many others of her family. Life is good and God is good!
Next Tuesday I have another scan (requested by the chemo doc.) The best scenario that could follow the results is that I'm "cancer free" enough, for now, that I will not have to have anymore chemo. Second option is that, based on the results, I would have to have four more rounds of chemo, one treatment every three weeks, starting just after the first of the year. We will know the results after my visit with that wonderful chemo doc after Jan. 10. You all will be the 2nd to know!
Wonderful Lynda continues to keep me on the "straight and narrow" --- as best she can.
Oh yes, fellow travelers, my oldest granddaughter called on December 23 to announce that she is engaged to a wonderful guy (which Lynda and I have met and he has "passed the test") and now there's a wedding in our future sometime late 2010. Praise the Lord and I'm going to live to see it!
Love you all!

2009-12-19T01:40:00.000-08:00

Today is the day for "asides."
Why do I keep updating this Blog when it looks like I've "cleared all the hurdles"? Because I only think I have. And if someone discovering they have this dang esophageal cancer stuff (and they find out about the Blog) they will have some idea what to expect and hopefully how to deal with it as they travel the journey.
May I revisit 2009 in the Railsback household. In January, (the 3rd to be exact), I fell and broke my right femur. This was just a month after Lynda and I had volunteered to be the working chairs for the Harris Hospital Gala, Dec. 4, 2009. (Lynda was pulled fighting and screaming into that responsibility, because our business was taking a lot of our time and we had some major travel plans for 2009.) However, Lynda stepped into the major part of the leadership role when I "went down." The doc pinned my femur back together and finally by June 20 I ran my first foot race in 2009. Eight days later I found out I had cancer, which started the second half of 09 with a bang.
You know what has happened since then. The Lord took care of cutting my work schedule back and with cancer our major travel plans hit the waste basket, so, what was there to do? Concentrate on the Gala. (Ain't it great how the Lord puts you where He feels you can do some good, whether you think you should be there are not?)
Our goal was to sponsor the two scheduled Adult Cancer Camps for 2010. When we walked into the event on that Friday night we were at a Net of $50,000 for the camps. We were at about 60% of where we had hoped to be when we created our budget, Jan. 2009. Plus, instead of having 600 at Gala our actual attendance was about 350. Businesses that we had approached replied, "How can we be a major part in your endeavor when we are laying off people?" The answer was, "You can't." The Gala had no silent or live auctions, just two five minute pleas at the band breaks. The final results are in. We will net over $80,000 for the camps, which will take care of them both. Will miracles ever cease? Not in my lifetime! I'm still flabbergasted. And, there are still some gifts coming in. I kinda think the Lord had Lynda and I where He wanted us. We are proud and humbled to have been a part of a project that will touch the lives of our friends with cancer.
OK, need to add a coupla of names to your prayer lists. I thank you for your prayers for Tommy T. He had a hopeful report from the doc this last week. Answer to prayers. Please add Jimmy D and Tracy P, both facing challenges that place them on this journey with me.
Love you all!
Oh yes, Lynda has forgiven me for committing "us" to the Gala. You should have heard her extemporaneous "pitch" that night at the second band break. She had me crying, but really, that's no big deal I guess. I cry all the time, just lately from joy!
Final "aside." The night of the Gala one of my long time pals came in wearing (the theme that night was "Blue Christmas" because the name of the camp in the Bluebonnet camp) wearing a blue Santa Claus suit that he had made. He was a hit! Just kept bringing back checks from people that he had "buttonholed" all night. Life is Good.

2009-12-15T15:35:00.000-08:00

Great news! Had a PET Scan done last Friday. Went to the chemo doc today and he advised that only a small area showed a hint of what could be cancer. Is that an answer to prayer or what? His thought was to check back in three of four weeks to see if it had changed and then think about some more chemo if it indicated any type of growth. What a relief --- for now.
Just getting to where I can eat some food. Had half of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese at lunch yesterday, half of a chili cheeseburger yesterday afternoon and three quarters of a Subway BMT for lunch today. More total food than I have eaten in any week, for the last two months. I know it's all fast food but I have to keep experimenting just to see.
Continuing with my "workouts" (if that's what one would call them) and my strength and energy level keeps "inching" up. Did a mile in 18:02 today.
And guess what? All of this is making Lynda extremely happy. This will mean that we can go out with all our pals again --- to eat! Chemo doc said I was doing exceptionally well. I loved that.
Gone again. Love you all. And thanks to all of you for your prayers because they are paying off. Please keep praying for my pal Tommy T.

2009-12-12T02:26:00.000-08:00

Slowly up the mountain you go. Savoring every extra foot of altitude. Knowing that you had seen the peak as you traveled to the base you look forward to reaching it. And then you step thru the trees and the terrain is as flat as a pool table as far as you can see. Suddenly, you panic. Further in the distance you see the top but you begin to doubt if you can get there in the time you have. Quit and go back or travel on? A quick prayer answers that. We started this journey we'll finish it!
All that to say this. I swore I wouldn't write another word until I had something to report --- and today I do. I ate the first solid food in four months that tasted like it was supposed to. A chicken wing. Now, I sure hope some of my tastes come back because it going to be kinda challenging eating chicken all the time!
Went to the surgery doc last week and he released me to start working out. On the orders: "This patient is very deconditioned." Don't know if that's even a word but he was dang sure right. First, they had me walk a mile. Took me 19 minutes and 8 seconds. (Compared to 8:30 last year.) Next came a twenty workout at weights that my wife would have felt were too light. But guess what? I barely made it thru --- and then I went home and slept like a baby for two hours, but it was a start. Small steps but toward the top, which I could never have taken without the prayer support that all you have given me.
Enough for today. But before I go I ask that you add my fellow cancer traveler, Tom Tennery, to you prayer lists. Prostate. Miracles do happen as I'm a living testament. With God, all things are possible! Love you all.

2009-12-04T03:08:00.000-08:00

Now we have hit that plateau. Up every AM, feel great (like a real person) until about 11 AM and then it's nap time. Holding my weight at 135. Taste buds are still whacked out. Not much that's solid tastes worth eating. Went to the chemo doc last week and he told (actually "retold") me that at surgery they did some biopises and there was still some cancer cells in my lymph nodes. That means more chemo after I begin to get my strength back. Hopefully, after the first of the year. Went to the surgery doc yesterday and he tells me that where he took out the cancer he also (had no choice) took out the area of the stomach that produces the "thought" that tells me I'm hungry. No more hunger pains for me. I must program myself to eat. (I will be glad to do that when stuff tastes good.} But, even with all that I am feeling better. Received a release so that I can began to work out again. On my note from the doc it said, "Patient is very deconditioned." Boy, is that an understatement!
Tonight is a special night. As I told you earlier, Lynda and I agreed to be the working chairs for the Hospital Gala (non Gala) that benefits an Adult Cancer Camp, and that's tonight. We are staying at the hotel and this afternoon I will rest and "feed" in preparation for the festivities. Who would have thought, last January, that I would be elgible to go that camp, as a camper? It is going to be a fun night and we have already raised enough money to fund a camp for 2010. Love you all and Lynda is surviving well and I couldn't do without her. God is Good.

2009-11-27T14:29:00.000-08:00

What can I say? Miracles happen, again and again! Stepped up to the Thanksgiving spread, proceeded to place some of everything on my plate. Not much, mind you, but it was a plate full by the time ran the 10 feet of table. Every thing tasted like it was supposed to! I ended up eating it all and had a sliver of cherry pie with real whipped cream on it. This morning I had ham and a half piece of french toast.
Enough of my food intake. I did sleep on my right side some but still have some pain.
The even better of part of Thanksgiving. All my family were here. We all gathered at my brother Charles's (and sister in law Jackie's) ranch south of Stephenville. All of his family was there plus my sister Phyllis and her husband George. Total, 32. Just wish my Mom and Dad could have seen this beautiful bunch.
This week I begin to "eat in earnest." Want to get rid of this feeding tube but I've got to offset the 1500 calories that I get using it. Am looking forward to (and I'm fearful as to how it will taste) a greasy hamburger. Oh yeah, my mainstay before all this happened, mexican food. You know, if you take "going out to eat" away from the "things you do" you don't get to hang out with many of your friends!
Love you all and hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

2009-11-23T13:25:00.000-08:00

You know, sometimes you need your caregiver to slap you up side the head when you begin think your not making progress fast enough. Sunday, I bemoaning the fact that I had hit a "plateau." "Only" able to eat a few solids and lots of fluids. Lynda looked me in the eye and said, "Leighton, what do you expect? You've only been out of the hospital one week, from major surgery! You expect to get better overnight?"
Sobered me up. Now, I'm rejoicing in the "onlys".
Good news on my right chest. It has really hurt. I guess since they had to deflate the lung, cut along below my shoulder blade, squeeze open a coupla ribs, stitch my esophagus and stomach together thru that hole, plus then sticking two drain tubes in it, I guess my chest had a right to hurt. Finally, the last two nights I can lay on my back without pain. Not that I had had a lot but there were only a coupla ways I could get "comfortable" at night so anything helps.
After laying on my back those 10 days needless to say I was really weak, but strength and stamina are slowly returning, but guess what, I have to "go out and get it" they just don't come back on their own.
Went to church yesterday, which was a blessing. Now looking forward to ALL my family coming in for Thanksgiving. God is good!
Love you all!

2009-11-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

Thursday morning and it's beautiful. Have had a great week (after the fiasco getting my new feeding tube.) Finally, my right chest has began to not feel like a horse has kicked me. Getting more strength each day. My voice is getting stonger. I got up at 8 yesterday kept moving until 11:30 and then sat down for a nap. I'm sure there was something that happened yesterday that was negative but I sure don't remember it, thank the Lord. Am getting liquid down. Smoothie's, orange juice, apple juice, soups (without any stuff in them) but solid food with any consistencey to it does not taste good at all. Keeping on trying. Gained a pound in the last three days. Up to 132.6. If I stood sideways you could not get my imagine with a camera. Not to worry, Lynda keeps on the staight and narrow. Love you all.

2009-11-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

Saturday I came home and I'm glad I did! Needless to say, it was exhausting. Was up and about more that day since I had been in the hospital. Came home, sat down and went to sleep. That evening started my tube feeding again (still working up to "real food.") Last night, in my real bed! Boy did it feel good. Looking forward to today to begin to move around, some. Well, my feeding tube decided, about 2 AM to start leaking. Got up and cleaned everything up. (Actually, I got up and Lynda cleaned everything up.) Same thing happened at 3! Then back to bed and we woke up at 7:30. Guess what, the feeding tube was clogged up and we could not get it to accept "food." So, we "cleaned up" for the third time.
At 11:30 we went to the emergency room at the hospital. I will not bore you with the all the drama that happened I will just tell you that I left the hospital, after watching almost all the Cowboy game, at 6:15. Now, let's say that tomorrow I begin my home recovery.
What I really hate about all this is that it makes you set everyone in your life aside (except those "doing stuff for you")and you get "selfish." It's all about me, me, me! That's not the way I operate and it feels like crap, but you don't seem to have a choice.
God is good and I have such a loving family and loving friends so I hope they forgive me. I will be back!

2009-11-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

As in every Thanksgiving, the Lord gives me and family something extra to give thanks for. This year it's the special healing that He has directed my way.
As you know from my early posts the health insurance that we have just about "forced" us to the treatment plan that we embarked on, in our own hometown. We "ended up" with about 10 doctors that were all friends of my brother and were all well respected in their fields. We "ended up" in a hospital that has patient care and "caring" as it's primary focus. One of the "girls" who checked me in I taught in Sunday School 40 years ago. Looks like I will be dismissed tomorrow or Sunday and three of the nurses from ICU took the time to come down today and wished my God Speed. (I've been out of ICU since last Saturday afternoon).Oh yes, and all this is only 5 minutes from home! The Lord puts where you need to be, doesn't He?
I have been surrounded by prayer each step of the way. Three doctors came in today to say how they could not believe how well I'd healed. "Prayer", has always been my answer to them.
Walked a 100 yards twice today and am "chopping at the bits" to get out of here, but it will come when it's supposed to come.
Could not have done it without Lynda and all my family. Debbie, Angie, Sherie plus their respective familiess and friends. My brother Charles and sister Phyllis and their families and then all of you, our friends, literally worldwide, that have been praying for Lynda and I.
OK, enough of all that. Don't think this is the end of this process because until I run another foot race (and I have set April as the month) I'll still will not be "healed." Again, love you all and thanks for your prayers, cards, flowers and visits. ---- More to come.

2009-11-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

Not a bad day.Started on a clear diet today. Food (liquid) now tastes close to the same. Drank about half of what they broght me, both times, which turned out to be good. But, I had to request "plastic ware." Regular old flatware turned my mouth to "tin" tasting. My stomach is still trying to figure out what's happening. Tomorrow I get to start "walking about." Each day, new milestones. Energy level moves up each day. One thing I will miss, when I go home, is that sometime each day pain decides to "pay a visit." When that happens I just call the nurse. With a shot in my port she "fixes it." Within two minutes it's gone. Oh well, a price to pay. Will let you know how "running down the hall" works out.

2009-11-11T03:01:00.000-08:00

It's great when I don't feel like "posting" and Lynda steps to the plate and puts out the info. What she didn't tell is that in getting the baruim test I was also listenting to the dr that was conducting the test and it was my "assumption" that I had failed. Well, Mr. Optomism went into a spiral. "Woe is me" was my thoughts. When I got back to the room at 10:30 AM I was not a man to be spoken to. Lynda realized it, patted my hand and went home (after trying to pull me out of a funk that I didn't explain to her why I was in.) 2 PM arrived and one of Dr. Carter's associates come in and asked how I was. After the old batter "just fine" and all that stuff I asked about the barium swallow. "Oh, I don't know, You'll have to ask Dr. Carter." Well, have you ever had two doc from the same office visit you in the same day? Not me, so further into my funk I went. "I've lost a day and maybe two." I thought. So, I just rolled over and went to sleep. Awoke at four, clock slowly moved to 5, then 5:15, and then in walked Carter. "How you doing?" He asked. "How am I doing?" I asked. "Well you did well on the swallow test today." he sez. "Then, when do I get these tubes out?" I respond. "Oh, you mean like this one?" and pulled the one from my nose. And then proceded to pull the rest, except the cathater. Boy was I relieved and boy was I ashamed that I couldn't wait on the Lord. Then the doc came by yesterday and gave the orders to pull the cathater and now, when they say I can (and send some to walk with me) I can! Yea! Doc also told me that I would get a "liquid tray" for the next two days and then progress to a "jello and mashed potatoes" after that. And, maybe go home this coming weekend. Boy, did that sound good!
Considering at what happened at Ft. Hood my "journey" pales in importance. I know you all have added those survivors and the wounded to your prayers, and so have I. Love you all!

Update about my guy

2009-11-09T19:36:00.000-08:00

Today was a big day!! The first swallow!! He passed the test and out came the tubes. He is one happy man. Needless to say so am I. The hardest thing to do is to watch the love of you life struggle and not be able to fix it. Thank God for the doctors who can. Thank God for the friends and family who prayed for this day. We love you all. Lynda

2009-11-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

"Escaped" from ICU and now my next "hurdle" is getting all these tubes out. Don't know how many I have and don't care. Just don't want them out if that's possible. What I have been "looking forward to" is a barium swallow. Yeah, sure! But it's something I have to do to prove my body is ready to move on it's own. So, today was the day. They unplugged me from everything, piled what they couldn't on my bed and off I went down the hall, over 10 bumps, down two floors and was slid over onto a flat cold table, told to "sip" barium, asked if they can stand me up and then listen to them comment what was happening to the barium. And then back to my room the same way. Now I'm back waiting for the results.
Good --- they take out some tubes.
Bad --- then I get to do this again.
Needless to say I sure am hoping and praying for the best! That's it for today unless they come and give me the results. Either way you may hear me hollering whereever you are!

2009-11-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

Early on the morning of November 8. Each day is amazing! Today I was "expelled" from ICU because I was, as my surgeon put it, "Too healthy." What good news to my ears. Hated to leave the excellent care I was getting but it was good to "grow out of the need for it." It was exhausting moving from one area to another! Seems that Saturday night was the time they had chosen to go even more computerized! So, the "trip" that should have taked 20 minutes took two hours. Charles was here so he smoothed the process. Looks like I will have excellent caregivers here also. Had visitors till 9. Drifted off to sleep and woke up at 10 with Lynda's lips on mine. She had come by earlier, spent some time, and went off to a party the she and some of her friends were putting on for the daughter of some of our other friends, who is getting married. She said she couldn't go home without kissing me goodnight. Is that swell or what? (And, who uses "swell" any more?) Whatever, I awoke feeling more rested than I have in days. As soon as she left I set about to answer all my emails of 5 days. Now it's time to go to bed.
Love you all.

Just an update on my guy

2009-11-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

Today was second day after surgery and for those who have been there -- you know what I mean. Leighton did really well today, but was a little tired so naps were more frequent. Coughing and not swallowing are both on the list of "real drags". But he was able to manage both. We are still just blown away by the love and prayers that continue to surround us. Thanks will never be enough to say -- so we will just try to pay it forward. Good night dear friends and family. Love to all.

2009-11-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

Well, boys and girls, here I am again! This will be short and sweet because I'm still in ICU but I'm feeling "great" considering the shape I'm in.
Love U all.

2009-11-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

I can not express the joy of seeing Leighton and knowing that each minute is bring healing to him. As his girls call him a strong old "coot", he continues to prove them right. Out of bed and into a chair three different times for at least 30 minutes each. Never a complaint about pain -- just doing what has to be done. When I left the late afternoon visiting hours, he said why don't you all go to a movie or do something fun. Honey, seeing you smile is all the fun I need. So tomorrow I will look forward to that crazy grin and spending time with you. Sleep tight and rest well. I love you.

2009-11-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

So Day 2 and everything is looking good!! He did have a fever last night but it was gone this morning. They had to collapse a lung during the surgery and that was a concern but around 3 am he began to increase his lung capacity and that seems to be behind him. They got him up and in a chair and he was able to tolerate the pain. The ICU staff is wonderful, they are really keeping the pain level under control. He continues to become more lucid .... ha!

Our family continues to be lifted up by the overwhelming support
....thank you does not do justice to the love we are feeling!

2009-11-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

So we just got HUGE NEWS -- a miracle!!! The surgery is over (4 1/2 hours), the liver and everything else is clear, the docs are very pleased with the condition around the resection. Dad's brother Charlie...went into the surgery and had a peek inside...he was amazed by how perfect everything went!!!
God was watching over my daddy along with some 30 people who came by the hospital. Thank you to everyone who has been praying and encouraging "Pops"

We will keep you guys all posted as he recovers :)

2009-11-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

One more day till "D" day! Received an email today that had an Emerson quote.
What lies behind us
and what lies before us
are small matters compared to
What lies within us.
Yesterday was fun. Stepped out of the shower and my feeding tube fell out. Called the doc. (6:15 AM) He sez call the office at the stoke of nine and tell them. They will tell you to go to the emergency room and then a doc will come over and reinsert a new one. (Thank goodness I had just finished my "feeding" at 6 AM.) Since I was still "full" I did my pre op for my Wednesday surgery at 9:30 (after calling the doc as told to) and when that was finished at noon I checked into the Emergency Room. Finally checked out at 5:20 with a new tube. Efficiency in action.
An "aside." If you have any friends that have to do the feeding tube routine the best thing I've found to keep the tube stablized when you are not "eating" is an Ace Bandage.
The last four days I've been stronger every day. Today I weighed 140.2. First time I've been about 140 in about 6 weeks. Yea!
I am so filled with peace that I have no fears about tomorrow. Thanks to all of you, my family and as always Lynda, the love of my life.

2009-11-01T03:18:00.001-08:00

Starting Friday, my energy levels have returned to "almost normal". (Granted, it's been so long since I was that way it's really hard to remember.)I told Lynda yesterday that if I could eat I'd forget about doing the surgery on Wednesday. But, alas, alack, I cannot.
It has felt good to feel good. I sleep well, wake up and think of things I need to do, get up and do them and go back to bed. Just like the old days. Which is what I'm going to do right now. Love you all.

2009-10-29T05:36:00.000-07:00

To my Blog followers. I wrote the following to all my high school friends that my buddy, Dock Sewell, keeps me "attached" to. Rather than "edit" it, I just copied it over. It contains what I wanted to tell all of you, as the time for surgerey draws nigh. Love you all.

To my Levelland friends:
I know many of you have keep up with my cancer journey on my Blog and on Facebook (which my #2 daughter Angie updates), but there are many of you, like me, that only venture "over on those dark sides" accidentally.
To those, let me bring you up to date.
As you know I have esophageal cancer, right where the esophagus joins my stomach. I have had thirty days of rads and chemo and now that they've beat it up that way (plus beating up my body) the doc is going to remove it. They will take about four or five inches of my esophagus and one third of my stomach and sew them together. I will be in ICU for two or three days and in the hospital for no longer than eleven. The surgery, Nov. 4, 7:30 AM, will take a minimum of 6 hours. The reason for the longer hospital stay is that they want to make sure there are no "leaks" in their work. And I'm OK with that.
I have appreciated all your prayers but I request you hold Lynda and all my family up to the Lord during these trying times.
Your pal,
Leighton

2009-10-27T13:46:00.001-07:00

Well, the die is cast. Wednesday, Nov. 4 is the day I will be operated on. Texas Health Resources HEB, Bedford, TX. 7:30 AM Had conversations with two docs today. Both agreed, as did I, now is the time because I'm stronger and ready. I will say I am anxious but I've committed the results to the Lord. I have joined my prayers with yours to ask His healing. The surgery will remove a portion of my esophagus plus a portion of my stomach and then they will sew those two together. For the rest of my life I will then be eating 5 or 6 meals a day. Or, better put, all the time. The doc sez I will be able to hike and run but I've got to learn to "eat on the run" but I've been doing that for years. I will be in ICU 2 or 3 days and then in the hospital for a max of 10 or 11 days. All the while checking for "leaks" which I don't plan on. Don't think I'm quiting this little process! Now, I plan on keeping you informed on "how" He has touched my life, again. Signing off for today. Love you all but Lynda the most!

2009-10-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry team, I've fallen down on my job. The reason is that everyday is the same (which is good because I'm not slipping back), but, in hindsight, I should have reported that. My weight is steady, my color is coming back (per Lynda) and I feel strong every morning when I wake up. Oh yeah, #2 daughter Angie came down from Virginia and a day later her #3 daughter Lyndsey appeared. So with those two, plus Debbie, Claire and Clay (#1 daughter and children) all buzzing around I just haven't gotten close to the computer. Today I meet with the surgeon so he can evaluate my current status and see where he wants me to be before surgery. I do hope that soon food will start "tasting good" to me again. Thank God for feeding tubes. And, I did get out to two "gatherings", Friday and Saturday, and I'm none the worse for wear. Felt good to get out and about. Gone for now, will report on what doc sez!

2009-10-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

Little confession right here. Last Saturday, Sunday and Monday I experieced a bit of nausea, each day, and didn't want to say anything about it. However on Tuesday morning I woke feeling better than I have in a month and each day, since then, is progressively better. Able to think with continuity and haven't been as tired each day. Actually, went the last two days without naps, just because they weren't called for. Am riding a stationary bike for about 15 minutes each day and taking walks. Will wonders never cease. As you know, I'm taking most of my nourishment via feeding tube. Five cans a day, 300 calories a can. Found a can that has 560 calories in it and have added one of those each day. Puts me to about 2000. Slowly but surely I'm getting where I can eat, but it's very little. But, I feel good so that will come in it's due time. God is Good! Oh yeah, the better I feel, the better Lynda feels. We, my friends, are in this together. Could not do it without her. Could not do it without you!

2009-10-20T14:36:00.000-07:00

Here it is, Tuesday, and another day in paradise. Met with a person who scheduled some stuff for me to eat so that I (just) might gain a little weight and for sure some strength. Lynda made a pudding out of one her recipes today and I'm slowly but surely getting it down. Am scheduled to meet with the surgeon next Monday for him to evaluate exactly where I am on his "where does this guy need to be for me to operate on him." More information on that after I see him. Everybody tells me my color is better and I'm getting a little stronger every day. Took a walk yesterday and it felt good. Today I've not taken a nap, (which works in on getting back on a normal schedule of day and night), and I plan to hook up tonight and get a good night sleep. Love you all. God is Good!

2009-10-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

Since Thursday life has been on an even keel. Trying to "set a plan" on getting stronger, which is a challenge. On Tueday I see a person who will advise me on nutrients. I guess I just need someone to slap me up side the head and tell me to get on with it. I'm holding my weight steady but not at the level I need for it to be. Yesterday, had a great visit with my sister and brother in law, from Oklahoma, plus my brother and his wife, two of his daughters, one of his son in laws, two of his grandchildren plus two of my daughters and two of my grandchildren. If that doesn't give one reasons to live then I don't know what would! Oh yeah, have I ever told you that I would be lost without Lynda? Well, I would be. Could not love her any more than I do. She is by my side at all times. Amazing how the things that seemed so important fade from your thoughts when you face life decisions. Love you all, too. God is good.

2009-10-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

May I start with, "Today will be a great day?" Yesterday was what it was but it's now gone, praise the Lord! Am gaining stength, but not weight. Looking forward to (kinda) the middle of next month when I get this dang thing cut out. But as we all know, God is good and we accept his His love! Had a great visit with a friend of 60 years yesterday. Love you all. Did I tell you that I would be lost without Lynda?

2009-10-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

Today saw two doc visits. One, to take out the stiches on my feeding tube (which it looks like I'll have untill long after the surgery to remove the cancer) and two, to visit the oncologist for him to check my blood levels and overall feelings about what I'm going thru. The On doc told me to not worry about the fact that I couldn't eat solid food right now. Just concentrate on getting the "soup" down and add a an extra can some days. Blood counts were good. Now my responsibility is to get stronger each day and then we plan the surgery. I'm thinking in about a month. Today was a very good day and I expect tomorrow to be better! Lord I love Lynda!

2009-10-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

I guess, every once in a while, one must "wallow in your pity." And, the last coupla days were mine. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling alone, feeling scared and just feeling crapy! Did it help? I don't know but I've got it behind me! What I can do is up to me and this morning I just got up doing what I can do. Yesterday I had about 2 ounces of Malt a Meal for breakfast and then 4 ounces of soup for lunch. Today I decided that an scrambled egg should be on the menu, and it was. First time I've chewed anything in 3 or 4 weeks. Now I'm gonna start gaining at least a little weight!

2009-10-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

The weekend came and went with not major changes. Opps, let me back up. Started eating a bit. Will add some everyday. Will go to doc on Tuesday. Will report back then. Right now I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

2009-10-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

Last post kind of put the next few weeks in prospective. Slow, incremental changes, for the better. Am on my feeding tube regime from 7 to 7. Allows me to "wander" for 12 hours, but, where to "wander?" All the flu going around and with my immune system all comprimised I just hang out at the house. I do ride with Lynda when she goes out on errands, but I just hang in the car. We did go out, for the first time in a month, with two couples last night, and it was a bit spooky at first? Who would have thought that? It was fun but exhausting. Wednesday was a good day, Thursday was a "push" day, not so bad, not so good, but Friday was better than both.
Many of you have asked about the times I add info to the Blog. Seems that getting all this fluid, at night, demands that you get up about 3 or 4 times each night and sometimes you are just not ready to go back to bed. I do get good nights sleep.
Love you all, but Lynda my caregiver, the most.

2009-10-08T03:53:00.000-07:00

Incremental change. Less soreness in my tummy. (Thanks for the prayers) Less "upsetness" in my stomach. Feeding rate is now at 120 ml per hour. I have a bit more energy each day. Talked with the wife of a pal, Mike J, and she reported that it was at least two weeks, after rad and chemo, that he began to feel like "his real self." (Mike had exactly the same stuff I have plus he had the surgery, so he's my poster boy.) She also reported that by 5 weeks he really felt good, and then they did the surgery. Can't wait! (Tougue in cheek.)
Thanks for the comments that you add. They cheer me up everyday.

2009-10-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

Another day, another pound! Where the doc put in the feeding tube is getting less sore and each day I have a little more energy. Not a thing smells or tastes good so adding anymore calories is a challenge. Have the feeding tube up to 105 ml per hour with a goal of 120 or 125. That allows me to "get down" a bag of "food" in 14 hours working down to where I'm not tethered but 12. Feels good when I can "unhook." Even tho the "food" is going into my intestine, I still feel like I have something in my stomach. And sometimes it's upset. Well, that wore me out just trying to expain it. I sometimes dream that when I wake up my bag will be empty. Please pray for the soreness to finally go away and that I start being able to get something else down. And pray for additional stength for Lynda. Love you all.

2009-10-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hooray, I'm home. Came home yesterday and home health came by and fixed me up with a feeding pump. Now I get to "get fat." The plan is for me to pick (back) up at least 10 of the 20 pounds I lost and then have surgery to remove the cancer. Hopefully, in about 6 weeks. I feel a 100% better sleeping in my own bed and just cooling it around the house. Lynda and the girls are taking excellent care of me. Lynda and I had planned on leaving on a Meditrranean cruise tomorrow so Tuesday will be a sad day for us both. Twelve of our friends and us had planned on it being fun for 20 days.

2009-10-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there is a pivotal day, and yesterday was it. Over the past 5 weeks, Thursdays and Fridays have been the most challenging. Wednesday night I would crash after my Tuesday chemo and Th and Fr would be a stuggle. Plus, every Monday, even tho I would have two day without treatment to recover, I would be weaker that the prior Monday. So, when this last Thursday I woke up with a carved up belly, getting the feeding tube in, I was a "whipped puppy." I oould not see up! And, then I begin to get nourshment and my stomach began to get "unsore" and the fight came back.
Yesterday I was ready to go home but the doc said, "One more day" and I'm glad she did. Last night my back got to hurting (from laying in bed four days) and I got up and sat in a chair. Nurse came in and asked, "Are you hurting?" "Yep" I sez and explain why. She checks to see if the doc has left any pain medication orders. I thought perhaps Tyenol. Nope, morphine. So much for that restless night. It got me from 11:30 to 4:30. Longest stretch of sleep since I've been here. But I believe I'll pass on doing that again.
Can't wait to get home with my sweetie.

2009-10-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

Sure enough, it happened. Rad doc came in at 9 AM and discussed the possiblility of putting in the tube, we said yes and at 11 AM they took me to pre op. By, 12 noon I'm back in my room. So, now I'm tethered to a pole with nutrition going in. Oh yeah, with a sore belly. Cut me about an inch each way above my belly button and inseted the tube. I will have to get used to this. The plan is for me to "feed" from 7 PM to 7 AM and then be off my tether during the day. Will drink some on my own during the day. Hoped to go home today however it's the weekend and get all the stuff rounded up for me to have all off what I need doesn't look like it will happen. I can hardly wait to go home.