Each day looks better than the last. Slowly, but ever slowly, I'm gaining stamina. No more weight, mind you, but stamina. Eating about half of normal at each "setting", just try to "set" more often each day. Doc sent me to rehab a coupla months ago and that is still going very well. My "trainer" try's to kill me every Tueday and Thursday but you know what they say, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you well." (Well, maybe that's not it.) Still learning on the eating thing. Have it down to not eat late. Also have done well, (well, let me make that better), with a bigger pillow. I wake up about 3 with my neck hurting, change to my regular pillow and sleep like a baby for the rest of the night. Still have my feeding tube. Am cutting down on how much I intake each day and it I maintain my weight without it, then out it comes. Time will tell on that. Have had the opportunity to share the fact that a rubber plug, from a hardware store, is much more comfortable to "wear around" each day than the valve that's furnished with a feeding tube. Lynda is as happy as I've seen her in 9 months and obviously that makes me happier than I've been in that stretch of time, also. I still am in awe of the power of prayer and what God has chosen for me at this time. (Notice, I'm not assuming any more "time on earth" but am enjoying what I have each day from a different viewpoint.) He has a plan for me so I'm "keeping my eyes peeled" for that task or tasks. God is good.

Well, it's been a day or two since I've shared my life with you all. I had the privilidge to "share" my caregiver, Lynda, with Angie, my # 2 daughter. (Now, # 2 does not mean I love her second best over either of my other daughters, it just means that she was born second.) Angie had some surgery and the proper place for a Mom to be is where she is needed.
I will have to admit, I did pretty good taking care of myself while she was gone. Don't think, however, that I didn't miss her because I did!
My "condition" is getting better by the day. (How many times have I written that?) Today was a red letter day. I weighed in at 140. It's been a slow struggle from 130 and, who knows, the next 10 pounds my come easier. I sure hope so. Sleeping at night is still "iffy." Lynda did make a great suggestion that helped. A "fatter" pillow. Keeps my head higher than my Food Processing Unit (formally know as my stomach, when all of it was there.) I try to eat early, before six, and bland stuff, but you can only do that so long. I am not waking up as many times with (what was called acid reflux) a bitter taste in my mouth, and coughing. And, that cough thing. I don't even realize I'm about to experience "bitter taste" until all of a sudden I start coughing. Strange! Never did that before.
First of February I lost a life long friend of mine, Ronnie Leatherman, who was from Levelland. His wife and children called and asked that I and one of our other buddies, Dock, put out the word that they were going to have a Remembrance Gathering at his home in Lubbock. Ronnie, by buddy who died, had called me at least every week since I found out that I had cancer. He and his family lived in Denton one year while he was doing some "education" at The University North Texas and we had reconnected. The Gathering was to take place on Feb. 6, 11 AM to 1 PM. I set my plans, to Lubbock at 9 AM on that date and back at 3 PM. (Had a prior commitment for that night.) 9 AM, Southwest and I left Love Field (beautiful clear day) but we begin to encounter clouds coming into Lubbock. Fogged in! Lubbock? You've got to be kidding! Took a coupla shots getting in but to no avail so we went to Midland/Odessa. Hung out there for a bit, were finally cleared to go to Lubbock and we dropped back in at 1:15. Just in time for me to get something to eat and wait for my flight home. Had a call from Ron's son, Gary, to tell me how well it all went and to thank Dock and I, again. (Dock, who drove, was there with a good group of our friends.) Gary also told me that he was on his way to the airport so his sister, Kelly, could fly back to Houston. Will wonders never cease? She was on the same flight I was, so we had a great visit from Lubbock to Dallas. Also, while I was at the airport, Pat, Ron's wife, called to say thanks and how much she enjoyed the Gathering. I arrived back in Dallas with my day complete (except I didn't get to see a bunch of my friends, but there will be another day for that).
My caregiver is back and I'm complete once again --- as long as I have all of you! Thanks for your prayers and concern. Lynda, I, all my girls, my grandchildren and son in laws can never begin to tell you enough. Love you all, and in closing, today, remember ---
The only thing the Lord has promised you is the breath you just took. Enjoy the next one and thank the Lord.

Have we discussed, lately, the importance of caregivers? Indispensable is the first and only word that comes to mind. Mine is there at every turn, good or bad. Always offering a word of encouragement when things are not going quite right. Keeping up with all the instructions that all the docs give and helping set up a routine (that you can live with) and reminding (kindly) when you stray. Sometimes you can "lean on" then just a little heavily. Not taking the responsibly for you own self that you should and you can "wear them thin." You will pay, and rightfully so. Just because you are the patient doesn't mean that they have to "be patient" all the time. If you, as the patient has any gumption at all you have to reverse roles on occasion in order for your caregiver to "refresh" and feel appreciated. I love my primary caregiver and all the "auxiliary" caregivers that I have, and I couldn't make it without them. They, their prayers and the prayers of all my friends and family around the world is why I'm here today and doing well. Love you all.

Team, if you think that "clear biopsies" mean the end of the Blog, think again. This journey ain't over! I've been advised that I will checked every three months for the next year. And, I swear it's gonna take me that long to "come to an agreement with my Food Processing Area." (Which is the new name for my "stomach.") The FPA and I continue to have a running discussion on what, how much, when and whether it wants. If I don't get it "right" my gut knots up and stays that way, generally, until I go to bed that night. I can keep on doing whatever I want or need to do but it's sure unpleasant. And, at night (if I miss the right mix) it wakes me every two hours asking for something to settle it down. It's not really all that bad except you never feel completely rested. I did sleep about 7 hours in a row last week but I didn't remember the combination that allowed me to do it. Now I'm paying more attention. Talked with a coupla of my other "Cancer Buddies" and we have agreed that the "completley rested" feel goes away when you start chemo and radiation and none of us have made it back to that plateau yet. But, we are as a team, working back there.
I did find out something about myself when I got the (currently) clear message. I just thought I was a "roll with the punches" kinda guy. Just take whatever was thrown at me and travel on. But, no! When I got that message it shook me. I wasn't prepared for it. It took me three days to process it, even tho "clear" is not forever, I could not accept it for me. Not that I didn't want it but I dang sure didn't expect it. Would you call that lack of faith? Maybe it was me dealing with that lack of faith, which I thought I had --- and found out that I didn't. Well, I've since asked the Lord to forgive me for my unbelief and am traveling on to what He has for me to do next.
God is good --- and now I realize it more than ever!

Friends, this post will be short and sweet. An answer to prayers and thank you all --- thank's doesn't really get it but it's all I can do right now.
My endoscope doc called this afternoon to tell me that all the biopsies he took last Monday, as he wandered thru my gut, came back clear.
I go to the chemo doc next Tuesday and I really hope he sez it's time to take out my port! Today is a red letter day but Tuesday will be the icing on the cake. Love you all. And, as I've said before, God is good!

Today, had my endoscope. The doc told me everything looked good and, as far as he could tell, he didn't "see" any cancer. He did take some biopseys and that will tell the "real story." Will meet with the chemo doc on Feb 2 and he will give me the results. Mr. 2/3 and I are still learning how to live with each other!
On a more somber note, I lost a childhood buddy this last week. He had fallen about a year ago and hit his head and at various times had balance problems. Two months ago the docs put in a shunt. Last week, his wife had pneumonia, went to the hospital and the next day tried to contact him from there. No answer. A neighbor found him. He had fallen again, hit his head in the area of the shunt which moved his brain and he was unconscious. Life support keep him on earth until his kids and grandkids got to Lubbock. He passed away last Wednesday.
Since I have been on my "cancer journey" Ron has called to check on me every week. Again reminds me how fragile life is. I always had to ask him how he was doing because he never brought it up. Makes me realize how I've been almost totally concentrated on myself during my journey and how I've not reached out to those who are hurting. I'm not the only one traveling thru challenging times.

With the top of each mountain you reach there's always a challenge to get to the next one. Got my taste bud back. Food tastes good, however, Mr. (3/4) Stomach decides what, when and how much it wants. Mr. S decides, after I've eaten, how to punish me for not checking with him before I ate. He knots up my gut. He keeps me from sleeping. And, when I do sleep, he sends me the most unusual dreams, so when I "sleep" I don't rest. Get up the next morning and I'm dragging, plus, the next time I sit down to eat I look at the food trying to determine the trouble it will cause me rather than how much strength it can give me. Not a good thing. After 10 days of wrestling with Mr. Stomach, he and I came to an agreement yesterday. I fed him 5 times --- small portions and kinda bland --- and he let me sleep all night. I did drink some Aloe Herbal Stomach Formula before I went to bed. Sleep all night. First time in about four months. God is good!