To "clean up" some thoughts that I skipped over earlier.
I did remark earlier in August that when I did the first round (of the second round) of chemo, it knocked me down pretty good. So, the doc cut the doseage by 20% on the second round and, boy, did I think it was a piece of cake. Sailed thru it with flying colors just wondering when we could do this again! (Not really.) And, then the second day after chemo finished, the sun rose and I didn't want to. Then, the third and fourth day you could have used me for a rug. "Hey," I said to my self, "this dang stuff is working!" Fifth day began to come back. First thing you do in those circumstances is start looking at your schedule. So with what's coming up, --- a trip to NM, a lawn chair drill team performance and a big parts move for a BMW dealership --- how am I going to feel when each of these come up? At this point I made it by last weekend in New Mexico with flying colors and was looking forward to starting chemo yesterday so that I would finish Aug. 11, LCDT performance, and then would have "bounced back" by the August 17, 18 and 19 parts move. Well, after my CT Scan at 8 AM I ventured over to my chemo doc. "Pal," sez Doc Turner, "your white blood count is down so you get only 1/2 (the not so bad part) of your chemo today. Come back next Tuesday and let's see how you are doing and by that time Tommy (my general surgeon) will have read you scan. We would not want to be in chemo mode if wants to operate." So now, here I sit. Gonna be in great shape for the fun weekend but may be down and out for the working weekend. Lynda sez, yesterday, "OK, let's you bring me up to date on all that's going on in this move and I'll be you next weekend if you start chemo on Tuesday." What a girl. What would I do without her. Not to mention, in the last six months, our son in law, Ed, has worked his butt off keeping us at home (for the most part) and helping taking care of our business.
So, that's where we are, again. Waiting, but, hey! I'm still here to wait around. As a friend Jan Rowe told me today, we see such a small part of the big picture that it's hard to determine "why." So, we just accept that we are living the Lord's purpose and smell the roses along the way.
Oh yeah, one other thing on our schedule. A wedding, my nephew Daniel, October 3, in Santa Fe. Did I ever mention how important "short term" goals are? They keep you from feeling sorry for yourself and make you plan for life as it happens, not dwell on what you can't do. Love you all.
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Back from Santa Fe, and glad to hear that you made it to Tres Ritos. All this uncertainty and upsetting of plans must be distressing to you, but stuff happens and you will adjust.
ReplyDeleteAs I have mentioned many time before, how I wish things were different for you, dear friend. Jan was right to say we don't see the big picture, and quite frankly, that is above our "pay grade." We live in faith that God will never forsake us whatever happens and when ever it happens.
It's true, that old saying, "Patience is a virtue." I believe that it is a virtue because it so so damn hard for doers, like you and me, to wait and let things work according to the schedule of doctors, to our body's ability to heal, and maybe even to God's unseen purpose. My near-Buddhist son would advise meditation, probably, though I am awful at it.
My prayer for you: Peace and patience in your heart, mind and soul . . . and healing, of course. Love, Grace
Sometimes it is difficult to ascertain whether we are going through an ordeal or an ordeal is going through us...or both concurrently. I suggest you definitely fall in the latter category. My prayer echoes that of Grace and adds an ingredient to the recipe--that you and Linda continue to have the tenacity and the stubborn but patient minds required to see thing thing through. Seven decades of friendship and still counting--Dwight
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