Well, here we are on the last day of the year. Time to reflect. Even with it's challenges 2010 has been a good one. (Actually, any year you are alive at it's very end is GOOD.) This last week (actually 9 days) Lynda and I spent with all our family in New Mexico. What a wonderful time. Next year I will ski.
Had some sombering news today. My friend, Jim W has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, also. I would ask you all to add him to your prayer list.
The last few weeks have brought good news. As you all know I've finished my second series of chemo and had a Cat Scan on Dec. 20. Results are in. "Significantly Reduced." Great words to hear now I've got to get to eating and get this feeding tube out! Have not talked with my chemo Doc yet to know what his plan is in "getting after" the rest.
Was a bit aprohensive in being in NM for 10 days and being away from all my support base, but all went extremly well. Again, I just don't have enough faith sometimes.
Had a "funny" thing happen today. (Background: One flushes his feeding tube both before and after! Timely.) I woke up this AM when my pump finished it's work getting the "feeding tube food" into my body. (Let me correct that last statement. I can't hear the "warning buzzer. Too high a frequency for me, but Lynda hears it and lets me know.) Well, when the buzzer went off and Lynda woke me I turned off the pump and went back to sleep. What one should do in that case is to get up, flush out the pump and then go back to sleep. Guess what, my tube clogged up. Bummer! Try as I might I could not get it "open." Usually that means a trip to the doctor, if he's in, or a trip to the emergency room. And, as luck would have it, the stitch that holds the tubing into my stomach also broke. What a mess! And, then I sneezed. Boom, the tube shot out of it's little hole in my gut!" Hmmm", I said. "Do you think I can clean this tube out now?" "Especially since it New Year's Eve weekend? Well, to make a long story longer, I did clean out my tube, inserted it back in my stomach and tapped it in very securely and now I'm good until the Doc's back in the office Monday. Would I recommend this? Nope, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do!
Please, keep up the prayers and I love you all!

What cancer and sickness cannot do......

It cannot cripple LOVE,

It cannot shatter HOPE,

It cannot corrode FAITH

It cannot destroy PEACE

It cannot kill FRIENDSHIP

It cannot suppress MEMORIES

It cannot silence COURAGE

It cannot invade THE SOUL

It cannot conquer THE SPIRIT

It cannot steal ETERNAL LIFE

from the Senior Times, Montreal

I was swinging very low until I read this in my doctor's office. I needed it!
All has been going well it's just that I had not looking at the glass being 3/4 full. I was bound up in the 1/4 empty (so I was thinking) but after reading the above 10 times, life is good!

Today I start my last round of chemo, that is scheduled. I will then get a scan sometime early 2011 to asses the success of the treatment. We do know there has been progress because my "twist" disappeared and I'm now able to eat. It's been wonderful to get to the point that I can begin to taste foods again. I know that the chemo will modify that again but just knowing it will come back, again, in about a month is encouraging. I was feeling so good that I began to say, "Come the first of the year I'm going to begin my new life!", which would assume that I would be cancer free and I would have all this behind me. But, I realized that I was predetermining what the Lord had in store for me and I realized that my job was to just wait for the scan and see what He had in store for me.
I have gained a little weight and am up to 140. Of course, I had all my pants taken up, so they wouldn't fall off, and now they are a bit tight. I do know that Jan. 1, feeling as good as I do now, I'll start back working out. Another thing that's going to be fun is to begin cutting back on the cans of food that go thru my feeding tube and maintain my weight and strength. I realize it's all in my hands (and God's) as to how that goes. Right now I'm looking forward to Christmas. Will be in New Mexico with all my family. What a blessing. I'm still amazed at people who say they are amazed with me, in how I've fought this disease and I think to myself, "How can you not fight?" but then I know that sometimes you can give up, and I want to cry for those who do. Life is wonderful. Lynda is wonderful. My family is wonderful. My caring friends are wonderful. And God is wonderful. And I've said many times, without the prayers that have held me up and Lynda, I would not be here, but here I am. Love you all.

Eleven days out of chemo and I'm feeling great. My doc was kind enough to grant me an extra week before I start the last round. That week will take me thru Thanksgiving. I will eat some of everything. And, about eating. Going well. Oh yeah, this AM I weighed in at 139! Most in over a year. I am blessed that I get my taste back each time. And my mouth and throat quit being sore. Feel like a regular person, if it was not for this tube in my gut. Again, I'm not complaining just stating the facts.
Here's my plan. 10 days out of the chemo hole, next time, I'm going to be able to eat more and it will taste better and I will start cutting back on what I send thru the tube until, ta de da, I don't need it anymore and I'm planning on making that happen timely. Also, about that same time, I will be getting a scan (pet or cat) that will show the docs what all good they have been doing. And then they are going to pat me on my head and say, "Come on back and see us in six months." At that point I run yelling out of the office.
Hey, that's what all you are praying for and my responsibility to make it happen. Keep all my cancer pals and Lynda in your prayers. Judy W, Gary C, Melissa C and Jimmy D. Until next time --- I love you all.

Some monumental days have passed. First, 11-4-10. One year aniversery of having my surgery! What a journey. Second, last night I went without activating my feeding tube. Which means I've been eating more! Great milestones for me.
Don't ask me how the tube in my gut got "untwisted." Even the doctors are unsure, (Lord's work, don't you know.), but I've been able to eat and keep stuff down.
OK, let's take if from about three weeks ago. I had been feeling pretty good and able to eat a little bit. Went to the doc to set up my next chemo and it turned out that my white blood cells were down so I got a week reprieve. That week turned out great. Got more energy and was able to eat "almost" meals that tasted great.
An aside here. I'm not hungery so I eat because it's "time to eat" and thank God I've got my tastes back so food tastes good, again.
With the strength that I gained I handled my fifth chemo fine. Unhooked yesterday from the 5FU and really had no major problems last week. Today, I'm getting a bit of sore throat but that's to be expected. The fantastic news is that I only have one more round of it and then they do a scan to see the results. With the way I'm feeling I believe it's going to be great.
Please continue to hold up my cancer journey warriors, Jimmy D, Judy W, Gary C and Melissa C. Cancer ain't for sissies!
Caregiver Lynda is my rock. God is Good.

Dang! I've been remiss in keeping up my end of the bargain! Letting you know how I'm doing. Well --- well, is how it's going right now. Last round of chemo didn't take me into the chemo hole as far as usual but it took longer to come out! Last Monday, went to my (round four of six) chemo doc and he told me my white blood count was not high enough for me have it. Mixed emotions. Sooner I get all this chemo over the sooner I find out "where I am" in the grand scheme of things, but I was tired on Monday and we have a full week of work (Thank You Lord) so it really worked out well. Am eating three times a day, not much, but some. Lynda could not be better! Need to add another cancer pal, for prayer. Melissa C, along with Jimmy D and Gary C. Love you all! God is Good!

Coming off 5FU chemo is always a challenge but I'm here to report that for me it seems to get a little easier after every one. I've done 4 and still have 2 to go. However I will tell you that every inch of your skin, from the neck up, is either "sore" or sensitive. That includes my tounge, my lips and my throat. So, you just don't say much, eat much, cough or spit. But, hey, I walked a half mile the last two days so that tells me my engery level is up and I'll take all the good signs.
Pray for care givers. I swear that's tougher than any thing I've gone or going thru. God is Good

Who would have ever thought I would have posted 100 entries on my Blog? Not me, for sure!
Just finished, today, my fourth chemo on this last batch. Only two more sessions to go, Lord be willing!
Lost a great and long time friend this week. Donald Moreland from Levelland. I don't remember we not be knocking heads, all my life. In church together, R. A.'s, shuck, we were probably baptistized at the same time. Lung cancer got him. He had never smoked and neither did his wife or his parents. Some things you can't figure. Don lived a blessed life. Surrender his life to Christ early on, taught school a coupla years and then got into what the Lord had planned for him all along, church work. If only we all could say when we pass, "We did what the Lord wanted." Well, Don did.
You all have been praying, also, for Jimmy D and Gary C. Want to report that they are both doing well. Not cancer free but able to do the things that six months ago they couldn't. I'm feeling well, right now, but the next five days are supposed to "rag" on me. Time will tell. Still eating, some, 3 times a day. Not enough to pull my feeding tube but food is tasting better.
Love you all and Lynda is doing great!

Not only did I survive the 5 days of being down (coming out of chemo) I've felt better the last 5 days than I've felt in I don't know when. How can you feel "down" when you wake up and smell the flowers, in fall? How can you not celebrate when you get to see or talk to your some of your kids and grandkids everyday? When you can get and receive a hug from your wife? When your friends or people you work for call and ask you to solve problems for you?
Let me tell you about my last four days. Friday afternoon Lynda and I jumped on an airplane and went to Albuquerque. Saturday morning, at 6 AM found us waiting for the pilot to blow our balloon up and by 8 away we went in a hot air balloon. Angie, my #2 daughter had purchased Lynda and I a ride. (It was for Lynda's birthday and I got to go along!) Angie went, also. What a thrill skimming across the skies and being able to watch about 500 other balloons launch. You can't describe it, other that fantastic. We did clip a barb wire fence when we landed because our pilot ran out of gas, but who cares, we made it safely. Satuday night we went to a "pre party" that my sister and her husband put on to celebrate the coming marriage of their son. And then Sunday we attended the wedding. What a celebration. Then Sunday evening, back home. The only "hiccup" in the weekend was that the suitcase caring my "formula" for my feeding tube decided it didn't want to come with us on the same flight. But, thank God, it jumped on the next one and we avoided a crisis. The Lord knows what He's doing, don't you know!
Today, Tuesday, I start my fourth round (in this second phase) of chemo. Already looking forward to those days after my "5 in" and my "5 out" days. I know I'm going to feel even better after this round and will only have 2 more rounds to go. Oh, I forgot to mention that yesterday I had oatmeal for breakfast and then for lunch I went to a Mexican food restruant and ordered an enchilada. Opened it up, ate all the chili and the taco meat and none of it came up last night. Milestone! Wish me blessings (I've got all the luck I can stand)! Keep my pals Jimmie D and Gary C in your prayers. Lynda is still my Rock and will be forever. The Lord is Great. Love you all.

The eternal optimist in me, everytime, figures that the chemo is going to be better. Not! The five days "going in" is really no big deal (once you get past the fact that you have to carry chemo around with you for 96 hours), but the five days "coming out" are a bitch, to put it mildly. You don't want to move. Your lips crack. Your throat is so sore that you get something to write on rather than talk. And, did I mention you don't want to move?
Well, I'm passed that today so it's on to something more fun. Working and playing.
I know you knew that I went to my granddaughter's wedding and was asked to say the "family blessing." I have been asked to "publish" it, so here it comes.

Our gracious Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the many blessing that you have already given Erin and Lynn. And, thank you for all the blessings that are being prayed down on then right now.
Lord, tonight, I would ask that you endow their lives with and extra layer of discernment.
First, to know when to share in word or deed, the love of your Son to those You place in their lives.
Second, wisdom to know "when to think before you speak." To understand that sometimes a word in anger or perceived hurt can cause pain that can take years to heal.
Third, that when they have children that they speak to them as one, tempered with Your teachings.
And last, that when they are blessed with grandchildren, they realize, along with their children, that these are their true stars in their crowns.
In Your Son's precious and Holy Name,
Amen

The Scan is Back and the news is good. The surgeon, (who is 50 and does triathlons --- and I sure put my faith in people who like to take care of their own bodies!), told me today that we are "a go" if I want to do surgery to "route around the twist." Now, even better news. I'm now able to get down soups and such, again, and this time without regurgitating them back up. Lynda and I look at it this way. The Lord, just may, be using the chemo to "untwist the twist" so we are putting the surgeon "on hold."
We lost a week of chemo and now this week I am doing my 96 hour 5FU. The "skip" did allow me to be at the top of my game for the Lawn Chair Drill Team performance last weekend (more on that later) and it will allow me to go to my nephew's wedding in Santa Fe on Oct. 3. Lynda and I will join Gary and Angie for one day at the Albuquerque Balloon Festival. Will send pictures. The only down side of doing the 5FU this week that I will hauling around Friday and Saturday at our big parts move --- but Lynda and spent all of yesterday reviewing all that's to be done so now she will working with Ed and I'll be the kibitzer from the sidelines. Hey, I can handle that.
The deal last Saturday night was the awards banquet for our Chamber of Commerce. (And, our LCDT performance was the opening act, not only for the gala but for the grand opening of the new Hurst Convention Center.) Our Chamber represents three cities, Hurst, Euless and Bedford. I have been a director two times. Once in the 90's and then I was asked again late 2008 and then as you know, I broke my leg January 2009 and then found out I had cancer June of the same year. My participation has been limited, to say the least. Well, to my great surprise, I was awarded the last award.
I was so stunned that I didn't listen as to why. It must have been for "Lifetime Achievement." I was humbled and honored. Lynda and laughed (and cried) that they decided to do it while I was still around.
The Lord has been beside us thru this whole journey but this week we were able to scrap away all the stuff that we had allowed to come between He and us and feel so much more of his love. And you know, His love, also, comes to us thru your prayers and we feel them every day. Love you all.

To "clean up" some thoughts that I skipped over earlier.
I did remark earlier in August that when I did the first round (of the second round) of chemo, it knocked me down pretty good. So, the doc cut the doseage by 20% on the second round and, boy, did I think it was a piece of cake. Sailed thru it with flying colors just wondering when we could do this again! (Not really.) And, then the second day after chemo finished, the sun rose and I didn't want to. Then, the third and fourth day you could have used me for a rug. "Hey," I said to my self, "this dang stuff is working!" Fifth day began to come back. First thing you do in those circumstances is start looking at your schedule. So with what's coming up, --- a trip to NM, a lawn chair drill team performance and a big parts move for a BMW dealership --- how am I going to feel when each of these come up? At this point I made it by last weekend in New Mexico with flying colors and was looking forward to starting chemo yesterday so that I would finish Aug. 11, LCDT performance, and then would have "bounced back" by the August 17, 18 and 19 parts move. Well, after my CT Scan at 8 AM I ventured over to my chemo doc. "Pal," sez Doc Turner, "your white blood count is down so you get only 1/2 (the not so bad part) of your chemo today. Come back next Tuesday and let's see how you are doing and by that time Tommy (my general surgeon) will have read you scan. We would not want to be in chemo mode if wants to operate." So now, here I sit. Gonna be in great shape for the fun weekend but may be down and out for the working weekend. Lynda sez, yesterday, "OK, let's you bring me up to date on all that's going on in this move and I'll be you next weekend if you start chemo on Tuesday." What a girl. What would I do without her. Not to mention, in the last six months, our son in law, Ed, has worked his butt off keeping us at home (for the most part) and helping taking care of our business.
So, that's where we are, again. Waiting, but, hey! I'm still here to wait around. As a friend Jan Rowe told me today, we see such a small part of the big picture that it's hard to determine "why." So, we just accept that we are living the Lord's purpose and smell the roses along the way.
Oh yeah, one other thing on our schedule. A wedding, my nephew Daniel, October 3, in Santa Fe. Did I ever mention how important "short term" goals are? They keep you from feeling sorry for yourself and make you plan for life as it happens, not dwell on what you can't do. Love you all.

Today I received an answer to prayer that I didn't realize I prayed for. The answer was "Wait." And, after fighting my human side that wanted to ask "Why?", I am now resolved to the answer.
My docs, chemo, digestive and the one who does scans, plus my brother Charles, have been mulling over the fact that I have that "twist" in my gut and have been looking for a solution. After much discussion, which I dearly appreciate, they got me an appointment with a general surgeon, the one who put in my feeding tube and I trust him with my life. Their collective thought was that he could, laposcopeley, (I misspelled that word but it means with three little bitty holes he sends in a camera and coupla sets of scissors and pulls out what doesn't need to be there and you get well), I digressed there! They felt that he could do one of three things and I might live a little more happily the rest of my life. They were: 1. Find that the problem was adhesions and cut them out and my "twist" would be gone. Or, 2. Find some lymph nodes (probably with a bit of cancer in them), trim those out and I'd be happy, or 3. If the first two don't work then create a bypass around the "twist." Sounded good to me and I looked forward to which option he would choose. First thing he did was to tap just above my belly button, where the my last surgery was, and proclaim, "Hmmm, that's kinda hard and it could be the tumor growing right there and if I go in, which in any case would be a full blown surgery, I could be doing more damage than good."
I wanted to say, "Is this a Ceallis commercial where they tell all the negative effects of the drug and never say anything about the good side?" But I didn't. While I was pulling myself off the floor he said, "Before we can make any decision (I started feeling some hope) I need for you to get another scan." OK, so there is hope!!!!! Soooo, now I'm set for it on Sept. 7, but now, I'm off to New Mexico for the next five days and going to stay cool. Needless to say, Caregiver Lynda was devastated but after reviewing the fact that under the present conditions we can go on for a long time (and the Lord whopping us up side the head a coupla times), we moved on.
Life is good so appreciate every second. Hard to believe this journey has been over a year but then I realize that's time the Lord has given me and I feel blessed. Love you all.

My last chemo, which started August 18 (for four days) was so much better on me "during" than last time. When I finished my thought was, "That wasn't bad at all." And then a day later, BOOM, --- now it's working and killing the cancer --- got to be because I feel like it's killing me. Next day a little "lower" and then I started coming "back out." Mouth was sore as was my tounge and throat. Didn't want to talk! Slight nausea all the way, don't you know. But today, I'm feeling so much better. Not gonna push myself but right now I'm on top of the world. (Relatively speaking)
Tried to eat something the last coupla day, mostly soup. Day before yesterday it worked pretty well, but yesterday I "went out to eat" and had some broccoli cheese soup that had something in it that didn't set well with my FPC. Paid for that --- all night long, so, so much for that. Have an appointment with a surgeon next Monday and we are going to talk about a "bypass" around that "twist in my gut" that doesn't let food down. More on that later. Lynda is still right on my shoulder and it sure feels great having her! I'm still thanking God for allowing me the privilege to go to the wedding. Love you all.

We've got past Thursday and the barbeque. Now, to Friday. That morning my son in law had planned a skeet shooting outing for the guys. About 25 went but I declined and you will see why later because I only had so much engery to use that day. While the guys were out shooting all the girls were at the bridesmaid luncheon. (I dropped a load off at 11:30 and promptly got lost and it took me 45 minutes to get back to the hotel. Had my daughter and her two children waiting on me so I was a bit rattled, don't you know.) They stayed with me until their dad got back home and then I dressed for the 4 oclock wedding rehearsal. Had the rehearsal and then off to the rehearsal dinner, 7 PM. After that my daughter had planned a party for all the out of town guests, back at the hotel (Dupont Hotel in DC) and I abandoned that about 11. Enough of good thing is enough.
Saturday morning we rested for the wedding. 3 PM, the guys loaded into a limo and went to my son in law's country club to leave the girls the hotel to dress. We put on our tuxs and were at the church at 4. At 5 the wedding took place. About 350 guests and was it beautiful. My future grand son in law started crying as soon as the door opened, and so did I. Wedding went perfect and, per the bride request, I prayed the family blessing after they said "I do". (If you want to see the pictures got to my facebook page and click on Angie's Photos-Wedding).
After the wedding all the guests were tranported back to the country club for the celebartion party and was it great. Erin, my granddaughter that was just married, sang two songs with the band and did a great job. Lynda and I punched out about 12, two happy campers.
Sunday morning, the "going away brunch" and then back to the hotel to rest, rest and rest. Monday morning to the airplane and slept all the way home, and finished up our rest on Tuesday. What a wonderful time.
Then chemo on Wednesday. Back to killing the cancer, hooray!
This round is not as bad, so far, as the last time. I know I was scared of the unknown the first time but this time I have an idea of what's coming. So far, less energy and a bit of nausea. But Ms Lynda is right there by my side at all times. Prayer is all around me so I'm in the best of hands. Love you all.

What a wedding! What a wonderful time. Lynda and I left to go to DC last Wednesday. We got off the plane and the weather was just under 90 degrees. Until Monday, when we stepped back on the plane, the temp never got higher than that. And that was only the beginning. Thursday night we had a barbeque at my daughter and son in laws home. That morning we got about and inch of rain and then it cleared off. That evening she had six round tables and sixty chairs delivered for the yard and the patio. (Their home will handle thirtyish inside) and there were about ninety invited. Party was to start at 7. Well, at 6:30 the sky opened up again. For the next hour it rained. Two inches. At 7:30 it stopped. We gave the guests that had arrived towels and they dried the tables and chairs, put the table cloths on the table and at 11 that night you would have never known it had rained. 60 people in the yard and all the rest on the patio and in the house. So, you could tell it was going to be a blessed weekend.
I will share more on the "rest of the story" in my next blog.
Lynda and I prepared for the trip trying to learn how to keep me going as long as I needed to each day, and she did a great job. Everything I needed to participate in I was able to do so, with gusto I might add. Now, let me tell you, we had Sunday afternoon off and we watched the last round of the PGA, sometimes thru our eyelids and then slept on the way home, and then did much of the same when we got home Monday. So, I was ready to start the second round of the second phase of chemo yesterday. Since I've done that protocole once I kinda know what to expect so I'm not just "getting sick" because they say it could happen. This time I'm letting it "come and get me" if it so desires and right now it hasn't, thank the Lord.
Next time, Friday at the wedding. Love you all and God is good. Plus, how does one make it down the journeys without a wonder caregiver? I don't know and am not gonna try. Lynda is the delight of my life.

Things that come to you: As I've always heard, "Life is like a roller coaster. You've got your ups and downs and twists and you don't know when they will come." Well, I've determined that when you get "older" your life is like tire on a car. "Sometimes you are at the top, freewheeling it, and sometimes you're at the bottom with the weight of the world on you, but there are two other times (because you know where you're going) that you are contemplating on how to deal with the phase you are fastly approaching." Hey, growing "older" ain't bad! The Lord has been working with me, hasn't He? Lord I love Lynda

Julia had a wonderful service. No way I could even begin to describe it. Just let me tell you, she will be remembered.
Preparation for the wedding trip "plunges" on! I started my second round of chemo on Aug. 4. (One chemo out of three. Will start the other two after I get back from the wedding.) Aug. 5 was a drag but everyday since then has been good. Mixing and matching extra feeding tube food and 5 hour energy drink, to find the perfect formula for next weekend. What a blast it will be. I may have told you that Erin and Lynn asked me to say the "blessing prayer" at the end of the service. I now have it written and will share it with you after "the deed is done."
Still looks like I will have to have a "by-pass" done in my gut. Occasionally I try to eat something but the "twist" is still there. But, that's to faced after this week after next. Thanks for your prayers and love.
One of these days I will share with my thoughts on "when you roll yourself right off the table." But, that's another day. The Lord continues to be good to Lynda and I. Sometimes He has to give her some extra blessing because I sometimes don't "think before I speak." Please continue to remember Jimmy D. Challenging times.

My great friend, Julia "Red" Terry Wakeley, had a massive stroke last week. Our lives have been intertwined since high school. Her family have decided to lift life support systems this afternoon. She has always beat expectations so I'm waiting for a coupla days before telling you about our lives.
The dilation I had last week. Seems the doc was able to expand one area but he also found a "twist" in my gut, further on down! Now there are five docs, including my brother, trying to figure out the next step. Out of all that has been suggested the one that sounds the best (to me) is to do a "by pass" around the twist. Please continue to pray for their guidance from the Lord. Also, continue to pray for all the other soldiers that are marching me in this journey. And, Ms. Lynda!

Laugh or Cry, Fight or Die and Victor or Victim? (New addition) And, still I choose A, A and A. The last few days I've been dragging around the house like I was B on # 3 but now I've kicked that.
OK, here's the update on my latest round of chemo --- and of course the dilation. Started this latest round of chemo on July 14 and I've been checking each day to see how I will feel if I "take another shot" on August 4, and how I will feel thirteen days later at the wedding. Still don't know what I will choose since the chemo laid me lower than a whale's belly for awhile. All my skin on my face and head felt like it was burned from the inside. My tongue got sores all over it and for about five days I felt like the electronic mat that the runners in the New York Marathon run over to validate their time for the race. But, now that's passed. Victor, that's where I am!
About the dilation. Went well. Opened my up from a 4 to a 10. Two and half times. Next day had a vanilla shake. Opps, would not go thru. Most likely it looks like something is pressing against the area that allows food to go from my FPU on into my intestine. Guess we will do another sonogram, I hope. Did learn something that I hope will help the docs. Seems I have a lot of hiccups. And let me tell you, you can't rest or sleep with them, but as luck would have it, I've found out how to "arrest" them. Here's the procedure. I go to bed, no hiccups. About an hour later I wake up, no hiccups but I know they are coming. Swing my leg out of bed and there they are. Off to the sink. I wash my mouth out with water with a coupla swigs, and spit it out. (This is, of course, after I've set on the potty. First things first!) Then I take seven "Gideon" sups of water, and swallow them --- slowly. Within a minute it all comes back up with whatever is coating my eshpgaus, and guess what? Nine out of ten times the hiccups are gone. Wow is all I can say. I just repeat, if they don't go, and then they do. Boy have I got more rest. Off to the chemo doc tomorrow and I guess we will start making some decisions. I will feel good for my granddaughter's wedding on the 14th of August. The Lord reveals what He wants you to know each day. You can either have your head down and miss His revelations or your head up and see the way. Today my head is up. Oh yes, while your praying for me, include Ms Lynda (which I already know you do) but she's my rock and I love her for it.

Yesterday I got "dilated." I haven't been able to get anything down my "gullet" so they just opened it up. Needless to say, I've got a sore throat today. But, hey, I'm going to get to eat I hope. Turns out Dr. N discovered I had a coupla ulcers, go figger! I will tell you that chemo dries you out and when you're not taking in any water it's tough. But, all in all, I feel slightly better each day. Or should I say, I feel better longer each day. When I crater I crater! More to follow after I eat!
Oh yeah, I finally came to the conclusion that I had been asking God to keep me around without me telling Him why. Seems about 60 years ago I did dedicate my life to doing more than I was doing. My buddy Ray Quiett went on to preach as did Don Moreland, and I just kinda hung back. Over the years I been a pretty good guy but I sure haven't lived up to what I promised long ago, so, who knows, this could be the way of the Lord getting my attention. This is to let you know that when I come out the other side of this illness I will be a somewhat different guy. Something I should have done a long time ago. God is Good and so is Lynda.

Glorious day! Lynda prayed over me at length last night and: I got a much better night's sleep! I woke up with my Upper and Lower Umendeum not sticking to the inside of my skin! And, have I told you how much I wanted to drink water? This AM, with my FPC empty, I said, "What the heck. If it's going to come back up anyway why not drink some." Well, not really "drink", just "supping" it out of my hand just like the soldiers in the bible did so they could keep watch. Oh my gosh, did it taste fabulous! Some came back up --- but not all! This 5FU stuff dries your mouth out and I have a bottle of water with me at all times (and a spit cup). If I didn't do that my mouth would crack, and I only have a half a lap in from of me to get this first mile down. Praise the Lord. Oh, did I say I love you all --- and Lynda? If I didn't, well I just did.

These people who tell you what "kick backs" you are going to get from some of this dang chemo is pretty dang correct. Nausea, hiccups, coughing, nausea. Plus I'm wiped out, don't you know? The first two drugs, Sisplaten (sp) and Hersepten (sp) didn't seem too bad. That took 5 hours (this being sick is a time consuming endeavor) and then home to the HHC nurse to hook me up to this 4 day deal. I'm looking at it like a mile run. Four times around the track. Here it is, Saturday evening and I just started the "Bell Lap." Do have some medi that somewhat counteracts the nausea but it puts you out for about three hours. Can't wait for phase 1 of 6 to be over and see how it going to be for the three weeks after that. (Then I start # 2) This stuff dries out your mouth. I have to carry water or ice chips around with me to "stave off" cottonmouth. You know how stuff you can't have can taste so good? Well, cool, clear water is unbelievable. I can't drink or it comes back up but oh it tastes so good--- oh so good --- when I wash my mouth out with it. I do have a dilation set for next Thursday and if I can drink water you will hear me yell no matter wherever you are.
Love you all, Thank you Lord, I love Lynda!

Round Two started: Wow, did I have mixed emotions about yesterday! First, "You can't finish if you don't get started!" And Second, "How the heck is this gonna all play out?"
Tuesday, I felt like heck, just thinking about starting chemo again (Bah Humbug) and then again knowing, as my good friend Karen Watson sez, "Chemo is a thousand warriors of God fighting Cancer under God's direction." Let me tell you, my faith waned on Wednesday morning. My tail was dragging but off I went. Had a great visit with my Doc. Got started with two infusions about 11 AM, walked out of the infusion center about 3:30 PM, then my Home Health Care Nurse arrived at 4:30 to hook me up to and new pump that I carry around for the next 96 hours. Created me a way to hook both my new infusion pump and my nightly feeding tube pump on my "tree" so I can just roll around the house. Will be unhooked (for 10 days) from the chemo and then we do it again. Right now, 12 hours into this deal, I rolling on. (Obviously learning how to adjust so I can sleep.) As the HHNurse pulled the stuff out of the box she handed me all these gloves and scrub looking clothes. She sez, "In case you rupture that line, cut off the flow, put on the gloves and scrubs and begin to clean what ever spilled out and call us. That fluid is radioactive!" Pardon me, I sez! "In only 6 years have I only know of two instances of that happening.", she sez. Makes for good thinking every time you turn over, don't you know!
But now that I have the 1000 warriors working away and I have my two lines coming from the tree Velcroed together I'm in great shape. Think I'll have a coupla more ice chips and go back to bed!
Still can't eat but my Indo doc will do a dilation on my esophagus/stomach area July 22, three days before my 75 birthday party and maybe I'll get to eat a bit! Hooray!
Enough for now, Love you all, Pray for Lynda and God is Good

As you can see, "I sometimes digress." I really set up this Blog to be able to create a chronology of my journey. Mainly so my wonderful friends could stay abreast of my "progress" and my wonderful new friends, that have the same problem could at least have an idea what I'm going thru so, perhaps, they would not be caught unawares when some of this stuff jumps on their back. And, yes, sometimes "I digress" adding things that are happening in my life to show that once you "get" cancer, it's not the end of the world. We are not "cancer victims" we are people with cancer. Having said all that, here is today's post.
About three weeks ago I began to get up every morning and when I would reach down to pick up the newspapers I would reguratate, only one mouthful, of what ever the last thing I had eaten the night before. Since I was taking pills to remedy part of that, I would wait until I "picked up the papers" before I ate my oatmeal, took my pills and sometimes an egg --- then would move on thru the day. "It" began to happen after every meal and every time I drank anything. Well, that's sure not a good way to add weight or even have sufficent energy to do anything during the day. Got that info to my docs. Added a drug called Reglan. Supposed to "begin to solve" the problem after about a week. Right now I'm in my 5th day of taking it. It's a trick keeping it down. Imagine, if you can, how much "fun" it is thinking about eating when you know what's going to happen if you do! I've counteracted the loss of nutrients by doing a coupla more Isosource thru my feeding tube. Who knows, next week I may be eating! But, as I've tried to say, you can't quit living --- or you're gone! Right now I'm at my #2 daughter's beach house in Rehobath Beach, Maryland. Lynda and I came up for a "couples shower" that took place on Saturday night. We got up here on Friday and my son in law took me to see the Washington National's play and I saw Strasburg pitch. Great new pitcher. Allowed 3 hits, 1 run and had 7 stickeouts in 7 innnings. Like I like to say, I have the energy level of a Sloth but I just keep on going! But then again, I digress.
I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers. Do keep praying for Lynda because without her I would be lost.
The Lord keeps giving me these marks to reach for. July 25 I get to celebrate my 3/4 of a century birthday and then, of course, my granddaughter's wedding August 14. Lynda and I are going to New Mexico sometime in August and then we have two big jobs moving parts departments, one in July and the other in September. God is Good!
Love you all!

The reality of what's ahead finally settled in, so away we go.
I have received so many wonderful messages of support and prayers, but Lynda has received many that has really helped her. The Lord has given all of you to us and I just keep thanking Him.
I'm feeling pretty doggone good and am looking forward to being with the part of my family that's in DC. Of course I will report on how they are doing.
Had a visit with my journey pal Gary C in, would you believe, in the doc's office. Gary is 50 and we met because he had the same cancer, treatment and surgery that I had, so we have a bond. Was visiting with his Mom and Dad the other day and they commented that he was in a band, and really had been playing with these guys since he was in high school. She pulled out a magazine that had their pictures in it. Boom, I knew most all of them. They were all friends of the son of one our best friends 30 years ago. For some reason I never meet Gary then. The Lord moves in mysterious ways doesn't He?
Just got word that Dock and Patti will be coming by to see me and by then I will have my "pack on my back."
Oh, is Life Good.

Isaiah 43:2 “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up….for I am the Lord, your God, and I am with you always.”

Now is time for Round 2. July 14. Start a four session of chemo to "hold in check" some cancer cells found in my omentum. (That's a cheesecloth type covering that covers the lower intestine.) Last time I did chemo in the office for about 4 hours once a week. This time I get a pack of chemo that I carry with me for four days. Depending on how I "tolerate" the treatment there will then be a three of four week gap on when the next one is. Right now, scheduled for 4 sessions.
I have worked with the doc and I will be at Erin's wedding, in good shape. We will actually start on the second treatment, most likely, after I return.
The Lord is Good.

Well, today is a "coasting" day. (Any day that's "Not Bad" is good, and this is one of those. Eating is a bitch. Two to four ounces at a setting. And, obviously I must choose where I use that energy produced from that little bit, with caution. Have been in touch with some of my "Cancer Pals" who are a year ahead of me and they have indicated that this phase lasts five to seven months. Just having a goal in that time frame helps. Obviously, I've got to "save" all the energy that I can for my two trips to DC. It does feel good to sleep and that's a new feeling. For a while I didn't do that very well.
Looking forward to having the 4th with Deb, Ed, Claire and Clay and watching some fireworks.
And, don't forget, Life is Good! Enjoy every second!
My wonderful caregiver is taking care of me like a baby. What a blessing she has been for the last 55 years! Only been married 53 but she was "setting me on the right path" two years before. As I've said many times, "I hardly remember not being married and not having kids." Since I was 20 at the time it kinda makes sense!
Love you all, God is Good!

Nothing new to report except that I'm still here and doing well. Still waiting for the chemo doc to give me a report on what he saw on the disc and what the "new and improved plans" are!
Had a wonderful call from my granddaughter (Erin) who is getting married in August. She told me that she and her husband were planning on having a "blessing prayer" right after they were married and that a lot of the times the preacher does it. She asked me it would do it. After I quit crying I said yes. I am a blessed man!
Lynda and I are off to DC 9th to attend a "Couples Shower" for Erin and Lynn. Life is good.
Plus, less that 30 days from now I will "run into" my 75th year.
What would I do without Lynda? What a girl! With me in the good times and even closer in the challenging times. With her, all my girls (Wow), the son in laws, all the grands, my bro and sis, my cousins, the inlaws, the outlaws and all my friends across the globe, I've got it made. (If you felt I left you out, U B one of the outlaws!)
God is good!
Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To all of you who have emailed me since I started this journey, I thought I would bring you "up to date" on where I am as we approach the one year anniversary on me finding out that the growth that was in my gut was cancer plus celebrating these past 12 months!
Three months ago I had a PET scan and at that time the docs could not see any cancer. Surprised my chemo doc but he did say congrats but let's do this again in a coupla months.
Two weeks ago, another PET. This time, the doc was not surprised because we found some "marbling" of cancer is some of my lynph nodes. Bah, Humbug! Well, that means Round 2 coming up. I should be getting with the chemo doc next week to plan our attack. The doc told me, after reading the results of the scan, "Hey, cancer does kill, but what I'm seeing right now is sure not gonna keep you from going to New Mexico in July and seeing your granddaughter married in DC in August. I'll check with my colleuges and we will get on with this deal of getting you well."
Now, I just hope he feels the same way after he reads the disc that he had not seen yet.
As for how I feel, good some days, better the next. Still having trouble eating. I kinda think that some of my current situation comes from not looking forward to the PET scan and then losing my buddy, Tommy T, to prostate cancer. Kinda takes the wind outa your sails. But, with all the people I have praying for me all over the world, let me tell you, I ain't giving up, no way Jose!
Last year, June 27, 2009, I ran my first race for that year, after breaking my leg on Jan. 3. I got up yesterday, went to the track and ran an "anniversary mile." Not as quick as last year but it's a place to start. This eating deal has me all messed up. I not a bit hungry but I know that if I wish to train to "go faster" I've got to take in some energy producing foods! You know, when you train, you condition your body to think that what you are doing is "normal" and it must step up to the challenge and get stronger. For example, if you lift weights daily your muscles "think" that's normal and correspondently the muscles get bigger. (Now, that's when your 60 and under.) But, along with that, your body asks for more fuel to accomplish the task, and that's where my challenge comes. Sure, I want to train to go faster --- BUT --- if you don't (or can't) eat you dang sure can't do it! Duh! Me, Lynda, my girls and the docs will figure this deal out!
Hmmm, I did leave out the Lord, but it was only out of that sentence! He has a plan and our job is to make it happen!
Hope this finds you all well and I'll keep you in the loop.
Love you all,
Your pal,
Leighton

Well, here it is, June 21, and finally I'm coming to my senses and writing again. Part of the reason I haven't is that I lost my good pal, Tommy, to cancer. Kinda knocks the wind out of your sails. Then I went thru a time that I had the energy of a sloth. Up in the AM, grab a book and start reading and read and sleep all day and then go to bed. My head was on backwards. Plus, I knew I was going to do another PET scan and I was having some doubts. Wanted that chemo port out so I could began to prepare to go to DC in July (for a couples shower) and August (for the wedding).
Well, the scan was done and it turns out I have some "marbling" of cancer in some of my nodes. The port stays in. Bah Humbug! Well, as my chemo doc and I discussed, Round 2 coming up. He told me that of course cancer is life threatening (duh) but this stuff I have now (which he really expected when they did a scan two months ago) is just going to take some more chemo to knock it down. We will putting together a plan this week but he also told me, "Don't worry, you'll be going to the wedding."
Love you all and I'm glad I've finally (partially) "got it together."
Don't know what God has in store for me but I'm His boy and we're moving on down the trail together. But, I haven't started on my "Bucket List" yet!

Had a guy remark to me last week, "You're looking great. How do you feel?" I thought on that, and finally replied. "If I told you I feel great, I'd be lying, but, I'm still "feeling" and that's great!"
Honestly, I still have to remind myself that where I am is so much better that where I have been and so, so much better that where I could be.
I was doubly reminded of that the last coupla of days. I had "met" the mother of man who had esophageal cancer as like me. Has all the same doctors. And yesterday, he had his surgery. Visiting him yesterday reminded me (again) how blessed I am. He is doing great. (And I use that term "in context" because laying in a hospital bed having been flayed ain't fun Magee!") Seeing him lying there and listening to the experiences that he was having brought back a flood of memories that I had "deep sixed." Wow, that was not a fun time. Makes me realize that dealing with not being to be able to gain weight and "grow" my energy are minor problems. Plus trying to figure out what my FPC is going to do!
Lost my buddy Tommy T last week. Tough. He was one of those great guys. He was great friend and a dentist. What I like to say about Tom is that he lived his life "in the plural." Tom's life was never about Tom. First, and foremost, it was about his sweetie of over 40 years, Patti. Then is was about his family. His Mom and Dad, until he lost them, then his son, daughter in law and his two grandboys, plus his sister. And, it was his team at work. No one ever worked "for" him, they worked "with" him. Then there was the charity work that he did. Was a Rotarian for more years than I know. Plus, he was a founding member of the Lawn Chair Drill Team, of which I had the honor of being there with him. (And that may be a chapter for another day.) Tommy had a great Baptist upbringing like I did. Met and accepted the Lord years ago and I'm confident that he's in a much happier place right now. Knowing that makes it easier for those of us who loved him.
Please keep me and my buddy Jimmy D, who is doing well I might add, and now my cancer journey partner Gary C. Obviously what you have been doing is working and I love you all for it.
God is good.

Everything going as planned. Feeling great, working, playing but still really enjoying an occasional "rest." FPU slowly but surely coming around and adjusting to have food flow thru it. Some days I really want to eat and then there are the others. But, I can't complain because I sleep great and I have Lynda with me almost all the time and I have Deb and Ed and two of my wonderful grandkids close all the time. OK, that brings up a story that I have to tell, about yesterday. I may have shared with you that I set as a goal, running a 5 K on April 10, when I started my rehab in January. If you could have seen me then you (as well as all my friends who did see me) would have thought I was crazy, and perhaps I was. (As an "aside" here, I believe one works harder at what one does if on has a goal, regardless how small or ridiculous.) Well, yesterday was the day, and with the encouragement of Lynda (plus Debbie, Claire and Clay went with me) I did it. The kids ran the 1 K which was at 8 AM and I chugged off on my 5 K at 8:30. The furtherist I have run since Jan. 1 was 1 1/2 miles so I had no idea how well my energy would hold up. I had worked my mile time down to 12:20 but that was only one time. Thought the first mile marker would never come. My whole body was tight as a drum. Finally it appeared and I began to relax and I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. Time for that mile was less that 13 minutes. Surprise to me. Clicked on thru the second mile the same way and now I'm feeling confident. Third mile was the fastest of all, 12:32 and with a good push the last 1/10 of a mile I "beat" the 40 minute mark. And then the "crowning achievement" was that there were only three people in my age group (70-99) and I got a third place trophy. I had been discussing my last year with the guy that handles the timing of the race (that I've known for about 25 years) why he had not seen me in over a year and it turned out he was handling the trophy presentation and he mentioned my challenge to the crowd and my grandkids said, "Pops, your famous. Everybody knows you and likes you." Put tears in my eyes!
Came home from the race and then Lynda and I went to visit our buddy, which you all have been praying for, Tommy T and I'm sorry to report that it looks like he will be received by the Lord in the next few days. I'm proud to report that he and I shared our childhood experiences, which were very similar in our Baptist upbringing, and he is a Christian. We will celebrate his life. God is good.

Last time I said, "Hurdle # 2", what was I thinking? I've been hurdling obstacles ever since this deal started!
Yesterday, the chemo Doc validated the results of a great scan. No changes, except for the better. More info on that later. Will come back in 60 days and if everything is still the same then we pull the chemo port. Man, let me tell you, that's my goal for now. God is good!
Keep my pals Jimmy D, Tommy T and now Ronnie R, in your prayers.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Hurdle #2, my next chemo doc appointment. I feel it will go well. All systems seem to be going well. Biggest challenge is wanting to eat, which just doesn't happen. I do have my taste buds back and food tastes like it did but it just doesn't "summon" me like it used to. I find myself eating only because I know I have to. Just like putting gas in a car. No fuel, no go. And, when I do, my FPU "asks" me why I put it in there. Double Whammy. Even with all that I'm feeling well enough to work and play. Even as I write I'm in Las Vegas after just having finished an inventory here, yesterday. But, let me tell you, I've got some rest while I was here --- easy job. Still keep my buddies Tommy T and Jimmy D in your prayers. More to follow after tomorrow's appointment.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Hurdle #2, my next chemo doc appointment. I feel it will go well. All systems seem to be going well. Biggest challenge is wanting to eat, which just doesn't happen. I do have my taste buds back and food tastes like it did but it just doesn't "summon" me like it used to. I find myself eating only because I know I have to. Just like putting gas in a car. No fuel, no go. And, when I do, my FPU "asks" me why I put it in there. Double Whammy. Even with all that I'm feeling well enough to work and play. Even as I write I'm in Las Vegas after just having finished an inventory here, yesterday. But, let me tell you, I've got some rest while I was here --- easy job. Still keep my buddies Tommy T and Jimmy D in your prayers. More to follow after tomorrow's appointment.

Today I go for a Cat Scan and have a chemo Doc appointment on the 30th. For the last five days I've felt like a regular person. Good energy and waking up at 5 every morning planning my day. Just like the old days! Please, keep my two buddies, Tommy T and Jimmy D in your prayers.

Every time I look at my "skinny" picture it makes me grateful how far I've come. Now weigh 10 pounds more that I did then.
Well, I'm four months and two weeks into having a Food Processing Unit instead of a stomach. I'm still eating 4 meals a day (should be 5) and food tastes "sorta" good. Doesn't taste bad but don't ask where I want to go out to eat because it doesn't make any difference. I'm going to eat a half a potion, because I know that I must. Kind of a drag but l'm adjusting!
Had a funny thing happen a coupla weeks ago. Somehow I lost my valve that connects my feeding tube to the sack that has my "instant meal" in it. Searched the house to no avail. Started checking phamacies and medical supply houses. Finally found a week later. Hey, I survived a week without my "nightly feedings." Me weight did not seem to flucuate but I did find I started each day with less energy and finished less. But, I got everything done each day that I wanted to do. You just do what you have to do. Still have some fluid in the upper part of my right lung. Docs keep saying, "It should just clear itself out with time." Hmmm, I sure would like a method I could do it myself or a "projected date." Get to go back for another check in a coupla weeks, to see if I've developed any "hot spots" since my "clear" reading. Please keep me in your prayers and my two buddies Tommy T and Jimmy D who I'm sharing this journey down Cancer Road with.
Love you all.

Just celebrated my "four month anniversary" of the surgery (and the accompanying chemo and rads) and it feels great. Still learning (and relearning) things as I go. Know that I must eat at least four times a day (really, five) in order to keep up my strength but I get "busy" and don't do it. Consequently, I run out of steam and don't get done what I should do, or not get it done to the level that I really want. If I use my feeding tube at night it gives me a head start the next AM, if I don't then I have no choice but to eat correctly. So here's what I've got to start right now. Use my tube every night (for now) and then begin to create my correct habit of eating and then start backing off the tube. Sounds easy so I'll do it. The challenge of eating still is that I can only eat about 3/4 of a regular serving and then food gets to not tasting good and I feel full. Forcing myself to eat more at a setting just upsets my food processing area and then I really don't want to eat. Now, I'm not complaining, mind you, just stating the facts --- and mainly for those coming behind me with this same challenge to know that this sort of thing happens! Rest assured, I can do what I want to do, it's just how I feel afterwards that I can control --- if I eat right. Worked the polls last Tuesday from 7 to 4:30 (I did sit some when there was a lull in the action) but let me tell you, I went home and went to sleep early and missed my guy's victory party.
Can't begin to tell you all how much I appreciate your prayers. Could not have made it without you.
Lynda continues to be right by my side every step of the way and encourages me beyond belief. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have family and friends. Without them one would have no life, but that's sure not my case.
Love you all!

Each day looks better than the last. Slowly, but ever slowly, I'm gaining stamina. No more weight, mind you, but stamina. Eating about half of normal at each "setting", just try to "set" more often each day. Doc sent me to rehab a coupla months ago and that is still going very well. My "trainer" try's to kill me every Tueday and Thursday but you know what they say, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you well." (Well, maybe that's not it.) Still learning on the eating thing. Have it down to not eat late. Also have done well, (well, let me make that better), with a bigger pillow. I wake up about 3 with my neck hurting, change to my regular pillow and sleep like a baby for the rest of the night. Still have my feeding tube. Am cutting down on how much I intake each day and it I maintain my weight without it, then out it comes. Time will tell on that. Have had the opportunity to share the fact that a rubber plug, from a hardware store, is much more comfortable to "wear around" each day than the valve that's furnished with a feeding tube. Lynda is as happy as I've seen her in 9 months and obviously that makes me happier than I've been in that stretch of time, also. I still am in awe of the power of prayer and what God has chosen for me at this time. (Notice, I'm not assuming any more "time on earth" but am enjoying what I have each day from a different viewpoint.) He has a plan for me so I'm "keeping my eyes peeled" for that task or tasks. God is good.

Well, it's been a day or two since I've shared my life with you all. I had the privilidge to "share" my caregiver, Lynda, with Angie, my # 2 daughter. (Now, # 2 does not mean I love her second best over either of my other daughters, it just means that she was born second.) Angie had some surgery and the proper place for a Mom to be is where she is needed.
I will have to admit, I did pretty good taking care of myself while she was gone. Don't think, however, that I didn't miss her because I did!
My "condition" is getting better by the day. (How many times have I written that?) Today was a red letter day. I weighed in at 140. It's been a slow struggle from 130 and, who knows, the next 10 pounds my come easier. I sure hope so. Sleeping at night is still "iffy." Lynda did make a great suggestion that helped. A "fatter" pillow. Keeps my head higher than my Food Processing Unit (formally know as my stomach, when all of it was there.) I try to eat early, before six, and bland stuff, but you can only do that so long. I am not waking up as many times with (what was called acid reflux) a bitter taste in my mouth, and coughing. And, that cough thing. I don't even realize I'm about to experience "bitter taste" until all of a sudden I start coughing. Strange! Never did that before.
First of February I lost a life long friend of mine, Ronnie Leatherman, who was from Levelland. His wife and children called and asked that I and one of our other buddies, Dock, put out the word that they were going to have a Remembrance Gathering at his home in Lubbock. Ronnie, by buddy who died, had called me at least every week since I found out that I had cancer. He and his family lived in Denton one year while he was doing some "education" at The University North Texas and we had reconnected. The Gathering was to take place on Feb. 6, 11 AM to 1 PM. I set my plans, to Lubbock at 9 AM on that date and back at 3 PM. (Had a prior commitment for that night.) 9 AM, Southwest and I left Love Field (beautiful clear day) but we begin to encounter clouds coming into Lubbock. Fogged in! Lubbock? You've got to be kidding! Took a coupla shots getting in but to no avail so we went to Midland/Odessa. Hung out there for a bit, were finally cleared to go to Lubbock and we dropped back in at 1:15. Just in time for me to get something to eat and wait for my flight home. Had a call from Ron's son, Gary, to tell me how well it all went and to thank Dock and I, again. (Dock, who drove, was there with a good group of our friends.) Gary also told me that he was on his way to the airport so his sister, Kelly, could fly back to Houston. Will wonders never cease? She was on the same flight I was, so we had a great visit from Lubbock to Dallas. Also, while I was at the airport, Pat, Ron's wife, called to say thanks and how much she enjoyed the Gathering. I arrived back in Dallas with my day complete (except I didn't get to see a bunch of my friends, but there will be another day for that).
My caregiver is back and I'm complete once again --- as long as I have all of you! Thanks for your prayers and concern. Lynda, I, all my girls, my grandchildren and son in laws can never begin to tell you enough. Love you all, and in closing, today, remember ---
The only thing the Lord has promised you is the breath you just took. Enjoy the next one and thank the Lord.

Have we discussed, lately, the importance of caregivers? Indispensable is the first and only word that comes to mind. Mine is there at every turn, good or bad. Always offering a word of encouragement when things are not going quite right. Keeping up with all the instructions that all the docs give and helping set up a routine (that you can live with) and reminding (kindly) when you stray. Sometimes you can "lean on" then just a little heavily. Not taking the responsibly for you own self that you should and you can "wear them thin." You will pay, and rightfully so. Just because you are the patient doesn't mean that they have to "be patient" all the time. If you, as the patient has any gumption at all you have to reverse roles on occasion in order for your caregiver to "refresh" and feel appreciated. I love my primary caregiver and all the "auxiliary" caregivers that I have, and I couldn't make it without them. They, their prayers and the prayers of all my friends and family around the world is why I'm here today and doing well. Love you all.

Team, if you think that "clear biopsies" mean the end of the Blog, think again. This journey ain't over! I've been advised that I will checked every three months for the next year. And, I swear it's gonna take me that long to "come to an agreement with my Food Processing Area." (Which is the new name for my "stomach.") The FPA and I continue to have a running discussion on what, how much, when and whether it wants. If I don't get it "right" my gut knots up and stays that way, generally, until I go to bed that night. I can keep on doing whatever I want or need to do but it's sure unpleasant. And, at night (if I miss the right mix) it wakes me every two hours asking for something to settle it down. It's not really all that bad except you never feel completely rested. I did sleep about 7 hours in a row last week but I didn't remember the combination that allowed me to do it. Now I'm paying more attention. Talked with a coupla of my other "Cancer Buddies" and we have agreed that the "completley rested" feel goes away when you start chemo and radiation and none of us have made it back to that plateau yet. But, we are as a team, working back there.
I did find out something about myself when I got the (currently) clear message. I just thought I was a "roll with the punches" kinda guy. Just take whatever was thrown at me and travel on. But, no! When I got that message it shook me. I wasn't prepared for it. It took me three days to process it, even tho "clear" is not forever, I could not accept it for me. Not that I didn't want it but I dang sure didn't expect it. Would you call that lack of faith? Maybe it was me dealing with that lack of faith, which I thought I had --- and found out that I didn't. Well, I've since asked the Lord to forgive me for my unbelief and am traveling on to what He has for me to do next.
God is good --- and now I realize it more than ever!

Friends, this post will be short and sweet. An answer to prayers and thank you all --- thank's doesn't really get it but it's all I can do right now.
My endoscope doc called this afternoon to tell me that all the biopsies he took last Monday, as he wandered thru my gut, came back clear.
I go to the chemo doc next Tuesday and I really hope he sez it's time to take out my port! Today is a red letter day but Tuesday will be the icing on the cake. Love you all. And, as I've said before, God is good!

Today, had my endoscope. The doc told me everything looked good and, as far as he could tell, he didn't "see" any cancer. He did take some biopseys and that will tell the "real story." Will meet with the chemo doc on Feb 2 and he will give me the results. Mr. 2/3 and I are still learning how to live with each other!
On a more somber note, I lost a childhood buddy this last week. He had fallen about a year ago and hit his head and at various times had balance problems. Two months ago the docs put in a shunt. Last week, his wife had pneumonia, went to the hospital and the next day tried to contact him from there. No answer. A neighbor found him. He had fallen again, hit his head in the area of the shunt which moved his brain and he was unconscious. Life support keep him on earth until his kids and grandkids got to Lubbock. He passed away last Wednesday.
Since I have been on my "cancer journey" Ron has called to check on me every week. Again reminds me how fragile life is. I always had to ask him how he was doing because he never brought it up. Makes me realize how I've been almost totally concentrated on myself during my journey and how I've not reached out to those who are hurting. I'm not the only one traveling thru challenging times.

With the top of each mountain you reach there's always a challenge to get to the next one. Got my taste bud back. Food tastes good, however, Mr. (3/4) Stomach decides what, when and how much it wants. Mr. S decides, after I've eaten, how to punish me for not checking with him before I ate. He knots up my gut. He keeps me from sleeping. And, when I do sleep, he sends me the most unusual dreams, so when I "sleep" I don't rest. Get up the next morning and I'm dragging, plus, the next time I sit down to eat I look at the food trying to determine the trouble it will cause me rather than how much strength it can give me. Not a good thing. After 10 days of wrestling with Mr. Stomach, he and I came to an agreement yesterday. I fed him 5 times --- small portions and kinda bland --- and he let me sleep all night. I did drink some Aloe Herbal Stomach Formula before I went to bed. Sleep all night. First time in about four months. God is good!

Just a short note to let you know that the chemo doc advised me that my PET Scan showed nothing that needed to be "chemoed" right now! Wow! In Feb I'll have another endoscope done to check out the area. That news was as good as I could have expected.
Praise the Lord. Love you all.

Excellent New Year. Food is tasting so good that I've gorged myself a coupla times. I'm doing better controlling that urge. Mainly because my body made me "pay". Every time I do that it "costs" me a day to recuperate. I'm sluggish and tire easily the following day. Too old to waste days. Got to make 'em all count! Worked a coupla 10 hour days and they were both 2 hours too long. Another adjustment to make.
I did go to New Mexico for 5 days with Lynda and Angie (#2 daughter) and I shoveled snow. Wisely, only a coupla hours a day. Did come home with sore shoulders, but that was a good thing. Tomorrow, Tuesday, I find out if I'm thru with chemo or I get four more doses. You know what my prayer is!
Total aside from this cancer thing: My first granddaughter is going to get married, August 14, 2010. Another reason the Lord let me stay on this earth longer!

What a difference a week makes! Or, could it be a New Year? Taste buds have "blossomed." Almost all food tastes good again. Before, when I filled my plate at a meal, I would take only very small portions until I figured out what I could eat. Now I take regular portions of almost everything and can eat what I call a regular meal. And to me, that's a "wow." And, with every "up" there is a "sideways." (Ain't no "downs in this house any more.") Now that I eat more food my (2/3) stomach is having to learn to deal with it. And as it learns I have to learn to deal with it's "dealings."
Rule #1: Never lay down to take a nap until 1 and 1/2 hours after eating. Rule #2: Take one Maalox Advanced before you go to bed or you will be getting up and taking one sometime in the next two hours.
Is this a good trade off to using your feeding tube?
Dang right, pardner!
Speaking of feeding tubes. As you know it's an appendage that is inserted into your lower intestine, comes out just above your belly button and you take your nourishment thru it when you have a blockage in your esophagus.
Now, when you want to "wean" yourself off the tube, you cut down on the number of cans (8 ounces each) that you feed your self. Then when your are able to eat "regular" food you can choose not to use it for a day or two or three.
That's real good except you have to tape the value that controls food going in and out (and it does "come back out" but don't ask me how) to your gut. It's about the size of a pack of cigarettes but with valves and stuff that "stick" you if you happen to hit it. The valve can be removed but I couldn't find anything to use as a stopper. Went to the pharmacy, they had nothing but they gave me the phone number of a medical supply company. Called them. "Yep," they said, "I know what you are talking about but we've nothing plug it up with." Not to be discouraged, I went to my local hardware store, Mr. C's. Presented to them my challenge asking for either a hard plastic or fiberglass plug. "Sorry," I was told, "but we do have a rubber one." Bingo, fit like a charm. Now I walk around and don't look like I'm "packing." Life is good! Mr's C's is good. God is good!