April, May, now June. Have been quite too long.
First, I'm doing well and holding my own. Which means the cancer and I are head to head. It's not getting the next foothold and neither am I. To recap, I had that good scan in December, "significantly reduced" and another in March, "holding my own", which are both great. In January, with that good news, I decided to eat on my own for about 3 weeks and it worked well enough for me to remove the feeding tube. Then for the next 4 weeks I maintained my (skinny) weight, about 140 and then I started dropping something, it seems like, an ounce a day, and could not get it back. Finally down around 134 and it seems like I'm eating all the time, but I can only eat so much before my gut starts cramping. So then I try to eat that much but more often. Never finish a "meal" that I'm not thinking about the next. Not because I'm hungry but because I need to sustain my energy level. But, hey, at least I'm here to do it. I get another scan on July 19 and, who knows, maybe they will find what is causing it. I did have an upper scope, about 3 weeks ago, and the doc didn't find any more cancerous growths, so that's a wonderful thing. I'm hoping and praying that I'm just going thru a "phase" and I'll come out the other side being able to eat (and enjoy it) and start gaining just a little weight. Just some would help my feeling.
Oh yeah, for some reason one of my vocal cords quit working. You should (not) hear me try to talk! Speak in 3 second bursts. Not good at all on the phone. My brother, Charles, the ENT Doc, my be going to inject something in the cord that's not working that should give me a better voice. Kinda tough on a guy who makes his living talking, but as always, I have Lynda here to cheer (and admonish --- when I don't do my voice exercises) me on! What would I do without her? Don't even ask!
Thanks for all your prayers and I promise I will be more forthcoming in the future and not let my spirits get down. One has to hold one's faith because it doesn't hang around on it's own. Each day I remind myself that the Lord has kept me around for a reason and each day I look to see what it is for that day.
About Me
- Leighton "Pops" Railsback
- Life brings joys and challenges, so let's look at the "Joys." (and skip "me") You're blessed if you have a wonderful lifemate, (in my case that reads "wife"), children, grandchildren and wonderful friends. I have it all. My belief is that if you have your life, and faith, in order you are ready to handle what comes your way. I attempt to maintain order in my life in the following priorities. Faith, Family, Finances, Friends and Fun. Take care of the first four and you can stick Fun in anywhere.
Good to get caught up on your progress. Sorry about the weight issue, but the news about the upper scope was great to hear.
ReplyDeleteI remember that our son, Paul, used to tell us that he wanted, and needed, a few days off from thinking about his illness. Good advice.
So, when you don't post a ramble, I simply assume that you are living each day to its fullest, as you always have, and will get back to your friends when the time is right for you.
Please know that we continue to pray for you regularly and think of you and Lynda with love and happy thoughts.
Spoke to Sarah yesterday, and she said the smoke and ash from the Los Alamos fire was thick in Taos. Today, she called and said there was some rain which was good news.
Lubbock continues to be hot as hell and dry as a desert. Scary!
Kisses, Grace
I am thinking of your today, July 5, dear friend, said a little prayer for you, and kissed your sweet photo. Hope your vocal cord problems are improving, and that eating is putting the pounds on you, or at least the ounces! The world needs your voice advocating love and justice now more than ever. But there are other ways, maybe too many these day, to communicate.
ReplyDeleteI sense a bit of weariness in this past posting. That is ok and understandable. Wish I could take away some of the burden of your illness, but you have Lynda, a large, loving family, and world of friends who care. And you have your faith in the God of your understanding. Take a deep breath . . . and live and love one precious day at a time.
Always in love, Grace