Laugh or Cry, Fight or Die and Victor or Victim? (New addition) And, still I choose A, A and A. The last few days I've been dragging around the house like I was B on # 3 but now I've kicked that.
OK, here's the update on my latest round of chemo --- and of course the dilation. Started this latest round of chemo on July 14 and I've been checking each day to see how I will feel if I "take another shot" on August 4, and how I will feel thirteen days later at the wedding. Still don't know what I will choose since the chemo laid me lower than a whale's belly for awhile. All my skin on my face and head felt like it was burned from the inside. My tongue got sores all over it and for about five days I felt like the electronic mat that the runners in the New York Marathon run over to validate their time for the race. But, now that's passed. Victor, that's where I am!
About the dilation. Went well. Opened my up from a 4 to a 10. Two and half times. Next day had a vanilla shake. Opps, would not go thru. Most likely it looks like something is pressing against the area that allows food to go from my FPU on into my intestine. Guess we will do another sonogram, I hope. Did learn something that I hope will help the docs. Seems I have a lot of hiccups. And let me tell you, you can't rest or sleep with them, but as luck would have it, I've found out how to "arrest" them. Here's the procedure. I go to bed, no hiccups. About an hour later I wake up, no hiccups but I know they are coming. Swing my leg out of bed and there they are. Off to the sink. I wash my mouth out with water with a coupla swigs, and spit it out. (This is, of course, after I've set on the potty. First things first!) Then I take seven "Gideon" sups of water, and swallow them --- slowly. Within a minute it all comes back up with whatever is coating my eshpgaus, and guess what? Nine out of ten times the hiccups are gone. Wow is all I can say. I just repeat, if they don't go, and then they do. Boy have I got more rest. Off to the chemo doc tomorrow and I guess we will start making some decisions. I will feel good for my granddaughter's wedding on the 14th of August. The Lord reveals what He wants you to know each day. You can either have your head down and miss His revelations or your head up and see the way. Today my head is up. Oh yes, while your praying for me, include Ms Lynda (which I already know you do) but she's my rock and I love her for it.

Yesterday I got "dilated." I haven't been able to get anything down my "gullet" so they just opened it up. Needless to say, I've got a sore throat today. But, hey, I'm going to get to eat I hope. Turns out Dr. N discovered I had a coupla ulcers, go figger! I will tell you that chemo dries you out and when you're not taking in any water it's tough. But, all in all, I feel slightly better each day. Or should I say, I feel better longer each day. When I crater I crater! More to follow after I eat!
Oh yeah, I finally came to the conclusion that I had been asking God to keep me around without me telling Him why. Seems about 60 years ago I did dedicate my life to doing more than I was doing. My buddy Ray Quiett went on to preach as did Don Moreland, and I just kinda hung back. Over the years I been a pretty good guy but I sure haven't lived up to what I promised long ago, so, who knows, this could be the way of the Lord getting my attention. This is to let you know that when I come out the other side of this illness I will be a somewhat different guy. Something I should have done a long time ago. God is Good and so is Lynda.

Glorious day! Lynda prayed over me at length last night and: I got a much better night's sleep! I woke up with my Upper and Lower Umendeum not sticking to the inside of my skin! And, have I told you how much I wanted to drink water? This AM, with my FPC empty, I said, "What the heck. If it's going to come back up anyway why not drink some." Well, not really "drink", just "supping" it out of my hand just like the soldiers in the bible did so they could keep watch. Oh my gosh, did it taste fabulous! Some came back up --- but not all! This 5FU stuff dries your mouth out and I have a bottle of water with me at all times (and a spit cup). If I didn't do that my mouth would crack, and I only have a half a lap in from of me to get this first mile down. Praise the Lord. Oh, did I say I love you all --- and Lynda? If I didn't, well I just did.

These people who tell you what "kick backs" you are going to get from some of this dang chemo is pretty dang correct. Nausea, hiccups, coughing, nausea. Plus I'm wiped out, don't you know? The first two drugs, Sisplaten (sp) and Hersepten (sp) didn't seem too bad. That took 5 hours (this being sick is a time consuming endeavor) and then home to the HHC nurse to hook me up to this 4 day deal. I'm looking at it like a mile run. Four times around the track. Here it is, Saturday evening and I just started the "Bell Lap." Do have some medi that somewhat counteracts the nausea but it puts you out for about three hours. Can't wait for phase 1 of 6 to be over and see how it going to be for the three weeks after that. (Then I start # 2) This stuff dries out your mouth. I have to carry water or ice chips around with me to "stave off" cottonmouth. You know how stuff you can't have can taste so good? Well, cool, clear water is unbelievable. I can't drink or it comes back up but oh it tastes so good--- oh so good --- when I wash my mouth out with it. I do have a dilation set for next Thursday and if I can drink water you will hear me yell no matter wherever you are.
Love you all, Thank you Lord, I love Lynda!

Round Two started: Wow, did I have mixed emotions about yesterday! First, "You can't finish if you don't get started!" And Second, "How the heck is this gonna all play out?"
Tuesday, I felt like heck, just thinking about starting chemo again (Bah Humbug) and then again knowing, as my good friend Karen Watson sez, "Chemo is a thousand warriors of God fighting Cancer under God's direction." Let me tell you, my faith waned on Wednesday morning. My tail was dragging but off I went. Had a great visit with my Doc. Got started with two infusions about 11 AM, walked out of the infusion center about 3:30 PM, then my Home Health Care Nurse arrived at 4:30 to hook me up to and new pump that I carry around for the next 96 hours. Created me a way to hook both my new infusion pump and my nightly feeding tube pump on my "tree" so I can just roll around the house. Will be unhooked (for 10 days) from the chemo and then we do it again. Right now, 12 hours into this deal, I rolling on. (Obviously learning how to adjust so I can sleep.) As the HHNurse pulled the stuff out of the box she handed me all these gloves and scrub looking clothes. She sez, "In case you rupture that line, cut off the flow, put on the gloves and scrubs and begin to clean what ever spilled out and call us. That fluid is radioactive!" Pardon me, I sez! "In only 6 years have I only know of two instances of that happening.", she sez. Makes for good thinking every time you turn over, don't you know!
But now that I have the 1000 warriors working away and I have my two lines coming from the tree Velcroed together I'm in great shape. Think I'll have a coupla more ice chips and go back to bed!
Still can't eat but my Indo doc will do a dilation on my esophagus/stomach area July 22, three days before my 75 birthday party and maybe I'll get to eat a bit! Hooray!
Enough for now, Love you all, Pray for Lynda and God is Good

As you can see, "I sometimes digress." I really set up this Blog to be able to create a chronology of my journey. Mainly so my wonderful friends could stay abreast of my "progress" and my wonderful new friends, that have the same problem could at least have an idea what I'm going thru so, perhaps, they would not be caught unawares when some of this stuff jumps on their back. And, yes, sometimes "I digress" adding things that are happening in my life to show that once you "get" cancer, it's not the end of the world. We are not "cancer victims" we are people with cancer. Having said all that, here is today's post.
About three weeks ago I began to get up every morning and when I would reach down to pick up the newspapers I would reguratate, only one mouthful, of what ever the last thing I had eaten the night before. Since I was taking pills to remedy part of that, I would wait until I "picked up the papers" before I ate my oatmeal, took my pills and sometimes an egg --- then would move on thru the day. "It" began to happen after every meal and every time I drank anything. Well, that's sure not a good way to add weight or even have sufficent energy to do anything during the day. Got that info to my docs. Added a drug called Reglan. Supposed to "begin to solve" the problem after about a week. Right now I'm in my 5th day of taking it. It's a trick keeping it down. Imagine, if you can, how much "fun" it is thinking about eating when you know what's going to happen if you do! I've counteracted the loss of nutrients by doing a coupla more Isosource thru my feeding tube. Who knows, next week I may be eating! But, as I've tried to say, you can't quit living --- or you're gone! Right now I'm at my #2 daughter's beach house in Rehobath Beach, Maryland. Lynda and I came up for a "couples shower" that took place on Saturday night. We got up here on Friday and my son in law took me to see the Washington National's play and I saw Strasburg pitch. Great new pitcher. Allowed 3 hits, 1 run and had 7 stickeouts in 7 innnings. Like I like to say, I have the energy level of a Sloth but I just keep on going! But then again, I digress.
I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers. Do keep praying for Lynda because without her I would be lost.
The Lord keeps giving me these marks to reach for. July 25 I get to celebrate my 3/4 of a century birthday and then, of course, my granddaughter's wedding August 14. Lynda and I are going to New Mexico sometime in August and then we have two big jobs moving parts departments, one in July and the other in September. God is Good!
Love you all!

The reality of what's ahead finally settled in, so away we go.
I have received so many wonderful messages of support and prayers, but Lynda has received many that has really helped her. The Lord has given all of you to us and I just keep thanking Him.
I'm feeling pretty doggone good and am looking forward to being with the part of my family that's in DC. Of course I will report on how they are doing.
Had a visit with my journey pal Gary C in, would you believe, in the doc's office. Gary is 50 and we met because he had the same cancer, treatment and surgery that I had, so we have a bond. Was visiting with his Mom and Dad the other day and they commented that he was in a band, and really had been playing with these guys since he was in high school. She pulled out a magazine that had their pictures in it. Boom, I knew most all of them. They were all friends of the son of one our best friends 30 years ago. For some reason I never meet Gary then. The Lord moves in mysterious ways doesn't He?
Just got word that Dock and Patti will be coming by to see me and by then I will have my "pack on my back."
Oh, is Life Good.

Isaiah 43:2 “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up….for I am the Lord, your God, and I am with you always.”

Now is time for Round 2. July 14. Start a four session of chemo to "hold in check" some cancer cells found in my omentum. (That's a cheesecloth type covering that covers the lower intestine.) Last time I did chemo in the office for about 4 hours once a week. This time I get a pack of chemo that I carry with me for four days. Depending on how I "tolerate" the treatment there will then be a three of four week gap on when the next one is. Right now, scheduled for 4 sessions.
I have worked with the doc and I will be at Erin's wedding, in good shape. We will actually start on the second treatment, most likely, after I return.
The Lord is Good.

Well, today is a "coasting" day. (Any day that's "Not Bad" is good, and this is one of those. Eating is a bitch. Two to four ounces at a setting. And, obviously I must choose where I use that energy produced from that little bit, with caution. Have been in touch with some of my "Cancer Pals" who are a year ahead of me and they have indicated that this phase lasts five to seven months. Just having a goal in that time frame helps. Obviously, I've got to "save" all the energy that I can for my two trips to DC. It does feel good to sleep and that's a new feeling. For a while I didn't do that very well.
Looking forward to having the 4th with Deb, Ed, Claire and Clay and watching some fireworks.
And, don't forget, Life is Good! Enjoy every second!
My wonderful caregiver is taking care of me like a baby. What a blessing she has been for the last 55 years! Only been married 53 but she was "setting me on the right path" two years before. As I've said many times, "I hardly remember not being married and not having kids." Since I was 20 at the time it kinda makes sense!
Love you all, God is Good!